DEAL WITH SELFISHNESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

Frankly, many couples beginning marriage underestimate how selfishness can threaten a marriage. During courtship and engagement, we do everything we can to attract and please our loved ones. We make ourselves out to be the most kind, loving, compassionate, sensitive human beings on earth. Then, once we are married and the conquest is complete, our natural selfishness, independence, and pride begin to bubble to the surface.

Suddenly we are experiencing conflict, and we're shocked that this ideal love is not as pure as we imagined. Each of us wants our own way. As James 4:1-2 tells us: "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel...".

Marriage offers a tremendous opportunity to do something about selfishness. Someone may say, "There is no hope; I can't get him to change," or "What's the use? She'll never be any different." I know there is hope because couples who learned to apply a plan that is bigger than human self-centeredness experience a lasting relationship. Through principles taught in Scripture, you will learn how to set aside your selfish interests for the good of each other as well as for the profit of your marriage.

The answer for ending selfishness is found in Jesus and His teachings. He showed us that instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve. Instead of trying to save our lives, we must lose them. We must love our neighbors (our spouses) as much as we love ourselves. A marriage is built when two individuals deny their selfishness and yield to Jesus Christ for the purpose of loving and serving their spouses. Jesus Christ will begin the process of building your home if you submit to Him.