THERE IS NOTHING HIDDING UNDER THE SUN:

Isa 47:3 "Your NAKEDNESS shall be uncovered, Yes, your SHAME will be seen; I will take vengeance, And I will not arbitrate with a man." Isaiah 47:3

Heb 4:13 "And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are NAKED and open to the eyes of Him (God) to whom we must give account". 

Every person hath somewhat which may properly be called his nakedness and shame. "Nakedness" refered to things you do in secrets, e.g adultery, fornication, abortion, murder, charming, stealling, cheating etc. Over that you studiously endeavours to throw a veil, that your secret sins may be preserved from public observation. God said, He will uncovered your nakedness (secret deeds) publicly. Though God is overlooking your evil deeds because of His mercy, very soon His mercy will runs out and then you will face the consequences of your iniquity.

The word "shame" is from a root word that means "a painful emotion generated by guilt and condemnation". Because you know that what you are doing is absolutely wrong, the guilt and condemnation you will generate will affect your emotion. Outwardly, you look good but inwardly, you are suffering from guilt and condemnation. You are ashamed of your evil deed but pretend as if all is well with you. But God declared that He will cause your hidden shame to be seen openly. Now, when the covering is taken away by which any of these things were concealed, then your nakedness and shame are laid open to the inspection of world and an openned target for the manipulation of demons.

Example, by the time you get pregnant out of wedlock or affected with HIV/AIDs, your secret deeds will become open. Then Jer 13:22 says, "And if you say in your heart, "Why have these things come upon me?" For the greatness of your iniquity Your skirts have been uncovered, Your heels made bare".

You do it secretly but God will disgrace you openly. Ninety Nine days for a thief, one day for the owner. The Lord said, "I will take vengeance". Except you repent and reconcile with God, your secret sins will soon be expose and you will suffer from SHAME, DISGRACE and DISAPPOINTMENT. For the Bible says in Matt 10:26, "For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known". Culled from my book manuscript "The Neighbour's Wife". Coming soon!

WHEN YOU SEE HER NUDITY?:

“Also behind the doors and their posts You have set up your remembrance; For you have uncovered yourself to those other than Me, And have gone up to them; You have enlarged your bed And made a covenant with them; You have loved their bed, Where you saw their nudity”. Isa 57:8

When a man leaves his covenant wife and commits adultery with another woman, he is building a cord of sin. The above verse said, “You have set up your remembrance”; a recollection of the spirits of all the women you slept with. The cord of your unholy sexual intercourse with your neighbour’s wife will linger on until you are destroyed. You have slept with many women and a soul tied has been created. Therefore, you have to “enlarged your bed” of adultery to accommodate the spirits of all the women you defiled because you are now married to all of them. 

You have broken God’s covenant of marriage and made a “covenant with them”. You have uncovered yourself to another woman instead of your wife in the presence of God, the Almighty Witness. God said, as you lay with them on the bed, you are entering into a covenant of marriage with all of them. You have built a soul ties or cords that will later affect your life and the next generation. You have spread your legs upon the bed and see the nudity of your neighbour’s wife. You have defiled the marriage bed and break God’s covenant. Will you go unpunished? 

The scripture says that the married BED should be holy, Heb 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”.

BREAKING PARENTAL CORDS OF INIQUITIES UPON YOUR LIFE:

Lev 26:39 “And those of you who are left shall waste away in their iniquity in your enemies' lands; also in their fathers' iniquities, WHICH ARE WITH THEM, they shall waste away”. 

The iniquity of your parents and your iniquity can make your life be a WASTE by the enemies of the land. The above verse said that the father's iniquities, which are with the children (Parental Cords), shall make them WASTE AWAY.

If you realise that there are reoccurences or unresistant desire for lying, adultery, fornication, divorce and abortion in your life, you might be suffering from CORDS ATTACHMENT from your father's or mother's iniquity. If your parents did not enjoyed their marriage, why should you suffer the same? 

David’s own iniquity was adultery with Bathsheba and the cord of his sin affected his sons. Do you remember Absalom? He was another son of David, who slept with his father’s wives openly before all Israel (2Sam. 16:22). And another son of his, Adonijah, asked for his father’s (David’s) wife Abishag (1Kings 2:17). Solomon had to kill him for this. David himself said: “The spirit of the Lord spake by me, and his word was in my tongue. The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spake to me, He that ruleth over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God. And He shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds, as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain. Although my house be not so with God …” (2Sam. 23:2-5).

In other words, David’s house was not a perfect testimony to the Lord. His shining for God was not without some clouds. All that God promised him, he could not fully realize. David traced his fall to the generation cords that bound him when he was in his mother’s womb. He did not say, “I fell because I was careless with a woman”. But he said in Psalm 51:5: “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me”.

THE GENESIS OF CURRUPTED SPERM AND ITS EFFECT ON YOUR DESCENDANTS:

Mal 2:15-16 “God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God (Godly Seeds), that's what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don't cheat on your spouse”. THE MESSAGE Bible.

The word sperm means; semen or seed, this same word sperm derives from the word called Genesis, which means to begin or origin.

In the book of Genesis God began with Adam and Eve, Adam being the (seed or sperm), and Eve being the (egg, womb, cell or ovum), and every living organism that was in the Garden of Eden (the trees, the animals, etc) contained a seed within themselves as in Genesis 1:11, but the difference between the seed that was in the other living organisms and the seed that was in Adam is that; Adam's seed or sperm contained the whole entire Genesis in it.

From the word “Genesis” we get the word called “genetic”, which means; the inheriting of traits, customs, or characteristics that comes from the parents to the children. From this same word Genesis derives another word that is very interesting when you grasp the meaning of the word, and this word is called gene, which means; the basic unit that records or encodes information via genetic code, being able to record information and relate a person's life, DNA or character to the mathematical order of time, seasons or calendar.
Through the genes, parents are able to pass down the times, calendar or seasons into the lives of their children, which becomes a trait, tradition or habit of repeating, celebrating or doing certain things in a mathematic form (repeating of habits in a certain given date, time or period in a year).
During the time of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman, the man releases his sperm, seed, genetic, gene or DNA, also this same sperm contains the history, the patterns of rebellion, the mistakes, wrong choices of that man's nature or character.
And if the man is obedient towards God's will, then his sperm or seed will also contain a DNA with a physical nature of God's godly character to produce a “godly seed”, Malachi 2: 15. When the woman conceives, through sexual intercourse then her womb will begin to form a child with the same nature (goal, vision and character) that is concealed in the history of that sperm.
After Adam had fallen from God's will through the disobedience of eating from the tree of tithe, his Genesis (genetic code, sperm, seed DNA, or gene) also became corrupted. Genesis 2:17 says; the day you eat of the tree of knowledge, notice the word knowledge of good and evil, you shall surely die, from the time when Adam disobeyed God by eating from that tree of tithe, his seed (gene, sperm or genetic encoder) began to fulfil the will of death, the seasons of death, and the times of death.

THE SPERM CARRIES THE SIN NATURE OR GOD'S NATURE
"For the life of the flesh is in the blood." (Leviticus 17:11)

Sinful heredity is transmitted through the blood and not through the flesh.
It is now definitely known that the blood which flows in an unborn babies arteries and veins is not derived from the mother but is produced within the body of the foetus itself only after the introduction of the male sperm.

An unfertilized ovum can never develop blood since the female egg does not by itself contain the elements essential for the production of this blood. This can never occur and does never occur until THE MALE SPERM HAS BEEN UNITED WITH THE FEMALE OVUM. The male element has added life to the egg. Life is in the blood according to scripture, for Moses says: "For it is the life of all flesh; the blood of it is for the life thereof." Leviticus 17:14

Since there is no life in the egg until the male sperm unites with it, and the life is in the blood, it follows that the male sperm is the source of the blood, the seed of life. Think it through.

For this very reason, it is unnecessary that a single drop of blood be given to the developing embryo in the womb of the mother. Such is the case according to science. The mother provides the foetus (the unborn developing infant) with the nutritive elements for the building of that little body in the secret of her bosom, but all the blood which forms in that little body is formed in the embryo itself and only as a result of the contribution of the male parent. From the time of conception to the time of birth of the infant not ONE SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD ever passes from mother to child. The placenta that mass of temporary tissue known better as “afterbirth,” forming the union between mother and child is so constructed that although all the soluble nutritive elements such as proteins, fats, carbohydrates, salts, minerals and even antibodies pass freely from mother to child and the waste products of the child's metabolism are passed back to the mothers circulation, no actual interchange of a single drop of blood ever occurs normally. All the blood which is in that child is produced within the child itself as a result of the introduction of the male sperm. The mother contributes no blood at all. This is the reason why Satan is attacking MEN through UNHOLY SEX so that they will not produce GODLY SEEDs, but to keep traspering the SIN NATURE instead of GOD'S NATURE into the next generation.

Men, we have a greater responsibility to carry the nature of God and produce Godly seeds. We are the cause of all the major problems in our families and nation. If only we can keep our SPERM holy, the world will be a better place to leave in.

When He created woman He made her so that no blood would be able to pass from her to her offspring. That blood is the result of the male. Since Adam was the federal head of the race, it is HIS BLOOD which transmits Adam's Sin. In order to produce a sinless man and yet be the son of Adam, God must provide a way whereby that man would have a human body derived from Adam but have not a drop of Adam's sinful blood. Right here is the scientific biological reason for the sinlessness of the Man Christ Jesus. (Culled from my book "The Mystery of Sex")

MEN AND THE COVENANT OF THE HOLY SEED (SPERM):

SPERM, THE SUBSTANCE OF THE COVENANT WITH GOD
The Hebrew word “zera” means “seed” in the common agricultural sense, but it also means semen or SPERM.

Genesis 17:9, "And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my COVENANT therefore, thou, and thy SEED after thee in their generations". God’s covenant is with a substance — SPERM is the physical glue that binds a people together to form another human being as God commanded in Gensis 1:27-28, "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them,"Be fruitful and multiply;..."

Once the PENIS enter into the VAGINA and the SPERM is release, the COVENANT OF MARRIAGE is executed. The TWO became ONE FLESH, signifying a revelation of the mystery of the covenant between Christ and the Church, according to Eph. 5: 31-32. It is, in a sense, the BLOOD through which the covenant is written.

The warning God gave to man is to "Keep His Covenant". The very moment a man ejaculate (symbol of resurection) and release his sperm into a woman vagina, he resurected God's Covenant of Marriage and he is mandated to keep the covenant by staying married to the woman he had sex with.
In Genesis 2 God makes Adam out of the “dust of the ground.” The soil has no life until it is given life by God, just as women cannot give life unless animated by semen. Thus sperm is not only the fluid of the covenant, it is the substance that makes each man in some sense like God, granting him the chance to share with the creator the joy of creating.

Each time a man sleep with different women, he is breaking the covenant of God. In Malachi, it said that God seek for a GODLY SEED in marriage. Mal 2:14-15, the Lord has been WITNESS between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your WIFE BY COVENANT. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He (God) seeks GODLY SEEDS. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth".
When married couple are having sex, God come down and witness the act because its a form of worship to Him. But if the man or woman are having sex outside marriage, guess who is the witness? SATAN. Join me tomorrow as we look deeper into this dimension.

The woman is like a garden, except you plant a seed, there will be no pregnancy. Man carry a Holy Seed called “SPERM” – seed from a Holy God. Anything that comes from God is Holy and has a standard. God, the creator created the sperms for a purpose and we must follow the manufacturer’s manual (the Bible) to know the proper way to use the sperm. Revelation 4: 11 said that all things were created for His pleasure or worship. When men climax during sex, God said it’s a form of worship to Him and it most only be in the context of marriage. What gladding the heart of a manufacturer is when the buyers of his product use the device appropriately by following the manual which accompany the product.

God is always displeased when Holy seed are mix up with corrupt seed. Ezra 9:10-13 “And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken Your commandments, 11 which You commanded by Your servants the prophets, saying, 'The land which you are entering to possess is an unclean land, with the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, with their abominations which have filled it from one end to another with their impurity. 12 Now therefore, do not give your daughters as wives for their sons, nor take their daughters to your sons; and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land, and leave it as an inheritance to your children forever.'

Before the journey of the children of Israel to the Promised Land, God warned them not to intermarry with the people of the land because they are unclean. And if they obey this instruction, they will be spiritually strong, eat the good of the land, and leave an inheritance for their children forever. But the children of Israel forsook the commandment of God and mixed the Holy Seed with the Corrupt Seed. The Bible said in Ezra 9:1-2 "…The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands, with respect to the abominations of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. 2 For they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, so that the HOLY SEED is mixed with the peoples of those lands. Indeed, the hand of the leaders and rulers has been foremost in this trespass." When spiritual leaders begin to sin, it doesn't take long for other people to follow.

One of God's major prohibitions was that His people were not to marry outside the community of believers (Ex 34:11-16; Deut 7:1-4). This was not because of racial difference, for the peoples of the surrounding areas were of the same Semitic race. The reason was strictly spiritual. If God's people married outside Israel they would be tempted (as was Solomon; 1 Kings 11:3-5) to get caught up in pagan idolatrous worship. Intermarrying with people who did not worship Yahweh was symptomatic of the way the people forsook other aspects of God's Law. If they would break this aspect of the Law in the most intimate of human relationships then they would probably also break the Law in other less intimate human relationships.

PASTOR, WHOM SHALL I MARRY?

Guideline for Men:

1. Is she an heir with you of the grace of life? (1 Pet. 3:7) Is she a person of conviction in her love for God and her understanding of the basic principles of the Reformed Faith. (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-15)
2. Do you love her, in the sense that she brings delight to your heart, in her moral character as well as her physical appearance? (Deut. 24:5; Prov. 5:18; Prov. 31:10-31; Song of Songs 4) Does she show evidence of loving you in return?
3. Do you find in her a companion, who completes you as a person, with whom you can work in this world in service to the Lord, e.g., compatible interests; intellectual, emotional, physical, social/cultural fitness; a faithful worker and good steward of resources (Gen. 2:15, 18, 23; Prov. 31:10-31; 1Thes. 4:11-12; Eph. 4:28; 1 Tim. 5:8)? Does she show evidence of finding in you the same?
4. Can you together fulfill the divinely appointed role relations of husband and
wife?
a. Will she be able to honor you as her divinely appointed head? Is she prepared to submit, in the Lord, to your government with confidence that you will care for both her temporal and eternal interests? (1 Cor. 11:1-3; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:1-6)
b. Are you prepared to care for her as Christ cared for the church? Are you prepared to sacrifice yourself for her spiritual good, and do you have the discernment to know what that is, and the courage to uphold it? (Eph. 5:22-33; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7)
5. Do you find her physically attractive, such that you would be willing to become “one flesh” with her, to give yourself to her in sexual love (Gen. 2:24; Song of Songs 1:1, 15; 1 Cor. 7:3-4)? Does she show evidence of desire for you the same way? (Song 2:4-6)
6. Does she give evidence that she will make a godly mother for your children? (1Tim. 2:15) Does she evidence the ability to teach them, by word and example, the way of life? (1Tim. 2:9-10; 3:11; 2 Tim. 1:5; 3:14-15)
7. Are you prepared to covenant before God and the community to spend the rest of your life with her in this calling, regardless of what providence may bring (except in the case of covenant treachery)? (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14-
16; Mat. 19:5-6, 9; Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:15).

Guideline for Ladies:
1. Is he an heir with you of the grace of life? (1 Pet. 3:7) Is he a person of conviction in his love for God and his understanding of the basic principles of the Reformed Faith. (1Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-18)
2. Do you love him, in the sense that he brings delight to your heart, in his moral character as well as his physical appearance? (Deut. 24:5; Prov. 5:18; Prov. 31:10, 30; Song of Songs 5:10-16) Does he show evidence of loving you in return?
3. Do you find in him a companion, who completes you as a person, with whom you can work in this world in service to the Lord, e.g., compatible interests; intellectual, emotional, physical, social/cultural fitness; a faithful worker and good steward of resources (Gen. 2:15, 18, 23; Prov. 31:10-31; 1Thes. 4:11-12; Eph. 4:28; 1 Tim. 5:8)? Does he show evidence of finding in you the same?
4. Can you together fulfill the divinely appointed role relations of husband and
wife?
a. Is he prepared to care for you as Christ cared for the church? Is he prepared to sacrifice himself for your spiritual good, and does he have the discernment to know what that is, and the courage to uphold it? (Eph. 5:22-33; Col. 3:19; 1 Pet. 3:7)
b. Can you honor him as your divinely appointed head? Are you prepared to
submit, in the Lord, to his government with confidence that he will care for both
your temporal and eternal interests? (1 Cor. 11:1-3; Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet.3:1-6)
5. Do you find him physically attractive, such that you would be willing to become “one flesh” with him, to give yourself to him in sexual love (Gen. 2:24; Song of Songs 1:1, 15; 1 Cor. 7:3-4)? Does he show evidence of desire for you the same way? (Prov. 5:18-19)
6. Does he give evidence that he will make a godly father for your children? Does he evidence the ability to discipline and nurture in the Lord, to govern your household well? (Eph. 6:4; Heb. 12:6-1; 1 Tim. 3:4)
7. Are you prepared to covenant before God and the community to spend the rest of your life with him in this calling, regardless of what providence may bring (except in the case of covenant treachery)? (Gen. 2:24; Mal. 2:14-16; Mat. 19:5-6, 9; Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:15)

HER NEEDS, YOUR RESPONSIBILTY:

A woman has seven basic needs that a man must learn to meet if he desires to love her as fully as God intended. God did not intend for marriage to be painfully endured. He intended it to be wonderfully enjoyed. Men and women are different in many ways. One area in particular is in the area of needs. Women have needs that are significantly different than those of men. How has God put a woman together? What does she need from a man?

In marriage, a man shows love to his wife by learning to meet seven basic needs that are the essence of who his wife is.

1) She needs a spiritual leader. A woman longs to follow a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character. She wants a man who can be a steel and at the same time be gentle, tender, and approachable. Such a man will be a spiritual leader in the home. He will take the initiative in cultivating a spiritual environment for the family.

2) She needs personal affirmation and appreciation. A man who loves a woman will praise her for personal attributes and qualities. He will extol her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker. He will also openly commend her in the presence of others as a marvelous friend, lover, and companion. She will feel that to him, no one is more important in this world.

3) She needs personal affection and romance. Romance for a man means sex. He cannot imagine romance without having sex. Romance for a woman can mean lots of things, and sex may or may not be a part of it.
Romance is basically a game. It is a specific game. It is a game of “hide-and-go-seek.” She hides it and you seek it. If you find it, you will indeed agree that it’s good!

4) She needs intimate conversation. A woman needs a husband who will talk with her at the feeling level (heart to heart). She needs a man who will listen to her thoughts about the events of her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. Daily conversation with her conveys her husband’s desire to understand her.

5) She needs honesty and openness. A woman needs a man who will look into her eyes and, in love, tell her what he is really thinking. He will explain his plans and actions clearly and completely to her because he regards himself as responsible for her. He wants her to trust him and feel secure. He wants her to know how precious she is to him. Growing openness and honesty will always mark a marriage when a man loves a woman.

6) She needs stability and security. A man who loves a woman will firmly shoulder the responsibilities to house, feed, and clothe the family. He will provide and he will protect.

7) She needs family commitment. A woman longs to know that her man puts the family first. Such a man will commit his time and energy to the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of the entire family, especially the children. For example, he will play with them, he will read the Bible to them, he will engage in sports with them, and he will take them on exciting and fun-filled outings. Such a man will not play the fool’s game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while his spouse and children languish in neglect. No, a woman needs a man who is committed to the family. She needs a man who puts his wife and children right behind his commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.

When a man loves a woman, he makes it a life goal to meet seven basic needs of his wife. When a husband is committed in this way, and when a wife has the same commitment, it is not surprising that both husband and wife have a smile on their faces and joy in their hearts. This is the way God intended it from the beginning.

ADRIFT IN RELATIONSHIP:

When John and Marry were engaged, they spent hundreds of hours and thousands of shillings preparing for their marriage ceremony. But neither spent much time preparing to make their marriage work.

Bliss turned to burden as they struggled through everything from how to handle finances to how to spend a Saturday afternoon. They had no idea when they married that crisis after crisis would come their way—a lost job, poor health, a financial setback, and the loss of their parents. Now they are both lonely, and although neither has told the other, secretly they wonder if their marriage is going to make it.

As it did for these married couples, isolation starts when husband and wife slowly drift apart in ways they don't even recognize at first. Signs of isolation include the following:

1. A feeling that your spouse isn't hearing you and doesn't want to understand.

2. An attitude of, "Who cares?" "Why try?" "Tomorrow we'll talk about it—let's just get some sleep."

3. A feeling of being unable to please or meet the expectations of your spouse.

4. A sense that he's detached from you.

5. A feeling that she's going her own way.

6. A refusal to cope with what's really wrong: "That's your problem, not mine."

7. A feeling that keeping the peace by avoiding the conflict is better than the pain of dealing with reality.

Every day each partner in a marriage makes choices that result in oneness or in isolation. Make the right choices and you will know love, warmth, acceptance and the freedom of true intimacy and genuine oneness as man and wife. Make the wrong choices and you will know the quiet desperation of living together but never really touching one another deeply.

SPIRITUAL MISMATCH MARRIAGE:

Elizabeth asked me, "Jabari, even though my husband goes to church every Sunday, his spiritual walk seems to be at a standstill. He doesn't seem truly interested in God, family, or me. What should I do?

Hear is my answer to Elizabeth: A good Scripture to start with is 1 Peter 3:1-2, which tells us that husbands "may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior." Make sure that you are growing spiritually while continuing to pray for him. A wife must not focus on her husband's lack of spiritual qualities but on the bigger picture--that God desires to use her in his life to challenge him spiritually. The prayer and hope would be that her godly life would challenge him and make him seek to grow.

First, be aware you are not alone. There are many other spouses in this situation. Second, realize that you are responsible to grow in your relationship with Christ regardless of your circumstances. Keep your Christian walk strong and avoid becoming lukewarm. Third, pray for God to do whatever it takes to change your husband's lifestyle. God doesn't have a pleasant reaction to lukewarm Christianity. Ask God to bring godly men into your husband's life.
Make sure that you don't think of yourself as superior to your husband because he is struggling. This is, unfortunately, a common scenario for a woman who is more mature spiritually than her husband. The temptation to think this way is from the Enemy. The devil wants a wife to push her husband away.

If she is really loving her husband the way God has designed her to love him, according to all the biblical teachings, then God can use that to draw the husband to Himself. But it is so easy to slip into being critical. If he feels like you are being critical at all, he doesn't have any reason to turn around and become a godly man.

IS IT YOUR TIME TO BE IN LOVE?

Ahabah (pronounced AH-ha-vah) is the Hebrew word that might be used to describe two people falling in love. This "love" is characterized by a spontaneous, impulsive display of affection and attraction. While such affection might relate to a friendship in the Hebrew culture, the word most often refers to the kind of attraction that happens between a man and a woman. In these cases, it is largely a physical attraction and emphasizes a sexual aspect of the relationship. Eros is the Greek counterpart to ahabah. Literature—both ancient and modern—celebrates this kind of love. Hollywood anchors its definition of love in eros.

Ahabah is all about loving that which is lovable. In other words, it's not even really about the person we claim to love. Instead, ahabah is centered on our desire to possess or gain greater access to some characteristic we find attractive. Inherent to the desire to possess something is an attempt to control.

Here's the big problem with the modern concept of "falling in love": Since the perceived value of an object usually shifts with time and circumstances and often diminishes once the shiny newness wears off people often "fall out of love".

SEDUCTION IS DEALY:

The word “seduction” comes from the root word “seduce,” and the word “seduce” comes from the Latin word “sēdūcēre.” To seduce means to “lead astray.”

But, how is it that a word that was originally used to describe the evil acts of a person is now welcomed, even in the church? Searching throughout the scriptures, the word “seduce” was never used to describe a holy or acceptable act, but instead, represented a charming or enticing of the flesh to aid the seducer in accomplishing an evil purpose. 

Nevertheless, with the 21st century's obsession with fornication and everything sexual, it is no wonder how seduction made its way into the marriage scene and eventually into many Christian homes.

The popular belief nowadays is that the more you seduce a man and the more you know your way around a bedroom; the more likely he is to marry you and to stay with you. After all, this is what society projects on the television screen, leaving many women to use seduction and other forms of witchcraft in an attempt to become his wife and to remain his wife.

However, this is not true in many cases as most men are able to separate love from lust in their hearts, whereas, the average woman cannot. And in those rare cases where a man does marry a woman because she is sexually charged, the marriage usually ends either because he got bored and begin to search outside of the home or because, well, she was so sexually charged that she was burning out some of her battery life on another person.

DEAL WITH SELFISHNESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

Frankly, many couples beginning marriage underestimate how selfishness can threaten a marriage. During courtship and engagement, we do everything we can to attract and please our loved ones. We make ourselves out to be the most kind, loving, compassionate, sensitive human beings on earth. Then, once we are married and the conquest is complete, our natural selfishness, independence, and pride begin to bubble to the surface.

Suddenly we are experiencing conflict, and we're shocked that this ideal love is not as pure as we imagined. Each of us wants our own way. As James 4:1-2 tells us: "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel...".

Marriage offers a tremendous opportunity to do something about selfishness. Someone may say, "There is no hope; I can't get him to change," or "What's the use? She'll never be any different." I know there is hope because couples who learned to apply a plan that is bigger than human self-centeredness experience a lasting relationship. Through principles taught in Scripture, you will learn how to set aside your selfish interests for the good of each other as well as for the profit of your marriage.

The answer for ending selfishness is found in Jesus and His teachings. He showed us that instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve. Instead of trying to save our lives, we must lose them. We must love our neighbors (our spouses) as much as we love ourselves. A marriage is built when two individuals deny their selfishness and yield to Jesus Christ for the purpose of loving and serving their spouses. Jesus Christ will begin the process of building your home if you submit to Him.

WOMAN IS MADE FROM THE EMOTIONAL IMAGE OF GOD:

Early in their marriage, Margrate and her husband were completely caught off guard by the emotions she began feeling. She remember the first time she was angry with him. She had never felt angry with him the entire time they dated, were engaged, or in the early days of their marriage.

She remember thinking, "What do I do? Where do I go? My husband was pursuing me to resolve our conflict, and I was so confused that I went into the bathroom, shut the door and thought, I can't get out of here. I'm stuck in this relationship". This woman held the future of her marriage and her family in her hands.

Women are created in the image of God, but many of you don't realize your emotions are a significant part of God's image imprinted within you. Women need to feel comfortable with who they are emotionally.

And this isn't easy, because many women aren't prepared to anticipate or handle the difficult challenges that are a part of being a wife and mother. Each new season of life—early marriage, pregnancy, raising young children, etc.—brings a new set of joys and difficulties, and many women are surprised by the intensity of their emotions. As a woman experiences the various emotions in her daily life, she needs to feel loved and accepted by her husband. They are made in the emotional image of God; they shouldn't be afraid of those emotions when they crop up.

When the above named woman faced that early crisis in her marriage, she decided her relationship, which was a covenant she had made to God, was too important not to work it out. So after stewing and thinking and praying, she left that bathroom. After some real communication, her husband and her resolved the problem. The next time you find your emotions have you feeling "stuck" in your marriage, don't stew in a bathroom. Talk it out. Resolve the conflict. Why? Because God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship, a safe haven, in which a man and woman can work through their emotions and glorify God in the process.

TOGETHER FOR GOD'S GLORY:

Is your marriage living for the glory of God? This little word "together for God's glory" means that there is an order of priority. There is an order of ultimacy. And the order is plain: God is ultimate and marriage is not. God is the most important Reality; marriage is less important — far less important, infinitely less important. Marriage exists to magnify the truth and worth and beauty and greatness of God; God does not exist to magnify marriage. Until this order is vivid and valued — until it is seen and savored — marriage will not be experienced as a revelation of God's glory but as a rival of God's glory.

Why does marriage exist? Why do we live in marriages? They exist to and for the glory of God. That is, they exist to magnify the truth, worth, beauty and greatness of God.

God is unimaginably great and infinitely valuable and unsurpassed in beauty. "Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable" (Psalm 145:3). Everything that exists is meant to magnify that Reality. God cries out through the prophet Isaiah (43:6–7), "Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory".

We have been created to display the glory of God. Paul concludes the first eleven chapters of his great letter to the Romans with the exaltation of God as the source and end of all things: "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen" (11:36). He makes it even clearer in Colossians 1:16, where he says, "By [Christ] all things were created, in heaven and on earth . . . all things (including marriage) were created through him and for him". Beloved, is your relationship and marriage revealing the glory and beauty of God? Or is it a rival of God's glory where there is premarital sex, cheating, adultery, fighting, nagging and other overt sins?

BEFORE YOU TOUCH YOUR WIFE'S BODY:

What we love, we want to learn about. And what we love to study, we come to love even more. That's just the way God has wired us. There is a truth that should be emblazoned on the heart of every husband. If you remember nothing else from this post, remember this:

In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body. This is a truth that can change your marriage. Nothing kindles erotic romance in a marriage like a husband who knows how to touch the heart and mind of his wife before he touches her body.

Too often we reverse the order. We touch her body prematurely and expect that she will respond immediately and passionately. Normally that's not how it works.

Some of you have been married a relatively short time, while others have spent decades with your wife. Whatever your situation, we all have this in common: There is still much we can and should be learning about that unique and precious woman who is our wife, that gift from God to whom we have pledged our lifelong devotion.

There can be a selfish, sinful tendency among husbands to view their wives as a goal that, once achieved, is then taken for granted. That is how a wife with children comes to feel primarily like an employee who serve the children and solve the sexual need of her master in order to maintain her job. It's just not possible to grow in your love for anything that you take for granted, especially your wife. To increase marital romance, you must study and cherish the object of your affection through the regular investment of time and energy.

As men we are all too eager to touch our wives' bodies before we have taken the time to touch their hearts and minds. I'm trying to restrain you from touching her prematurely, so that when the time does come to touch her body, it will have the deepest possible effect.

AFFIRMING YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR WIFE:

We all would do well to watch Solomon in action. Solomon, by contrast, referred to his wife as "my beloved" forty times in the Song of Solomon. That choice phrase is packed with affirmation. It's a romantic expression, a call to rich friendship. Each time Solomon said, "My beloved," his words clothed her with dignity and value. What woman wouldn't flourish under such a constant stream of loving affirmation?

Here are few nonsexual ways to cherish your bride through words and acts of affirmation. And by the way, these are nonsexual so that you speak her romantic love language. It's important to remember that you are not doing these things to get something in return. Perhaps she will reciprocate in your language back to you, but that's not your goal. Are you ready?

* Hug and kiss her every morning before leaving the house. Research indicates that marriages that practice this simple discipline are much healthier than those that don't. If she's sleeping, leave her a note, or gently kiss her forehead and whisper, "Have a wonderful day, sweetheart."

* Reach across the front seat of the car when you drive and hold her hand, even for a few moments. Allow your fingers to become entwined.

* Write, "I'm crazy about you, Honey. You're the best!" or another personal message on a yellow sticky note. Attach it to her bathroom mirror.
* Call her from work and say, "I've been thinking of how good I have it with you in my life. Thanks for all that you are as a woman and all that you do for me and our family."
* Go an entire day without criticizing anything about her. Instead, try to notice her doing something that you really appreciate, and tell her how much you value her.
* Go to bed at the same time with her for a week; just talk or read a book and share the quietness together.
* Brush her hair and compliment her hair and eyes.
* While she studies her face in the mirror, come up behind her and gently kiss the back of her neck. Say, "God broke the mold after He made you. You are so beautiful."

* Try your hand at making breakfast on Saturday morning. Tell her she deserves a break and should feel free to sleep in.

* Write her a short love letter in which you list several ways that she has blessed you this year.

* Resurrect common courtesies. Start opening the car door for her as you did when you dated, pull out her chair for her at the dinner table, offer your arm while walking down stairs, and help her put her coat on.

* If you overhear her engaged in a difficult situation on the phone or with a child, compliment the way she handled the conversation.

* Initiate daily prayer with her. This one spiritual discipline has transformed millions of marriages. Make a commitment, and then begin to pray together every day. Begin by giving thanks for her and your family, then pray with her about her worries and challenges. Ask her to pray for you about a challenge you are facing.

* Say, "Thank you," after every meal she serves. Then help her clear the table or offer to do the dishes with her.

* When you are together in a crowd, find a way to brag on her. Say, "My wife is such an amazing cook," or "I've got the best wife—her ______ never ceases to amaze me."

* The morning after making love, touch her tenderly, and tell her how wonderful it was to be with her.

THE ART OF LOVEMAKING IN MARRIAGE: Towards a sexual revolution.

“Sexual compatibility is to a man what perfume is to a flower in a Garden”

I will begin a series of teachings on the subject of SEX in marriage from today. So many have asked me alot of questions in regard to sexual fulfilment which is lacking in their marriages. Yesterday, a young woman came to my office and said, "Pastor, I have no sexual feeling for my husband. Each time he touches me, it irritates and during coition I felt pain". There are so many other couples out there who are facing similar problems and lack where to go for counselling. I am here to help you by the grace of God.

“And Adam KNEW Eve his wife; and she conceived…” Gen. 4 v 1

Sex is not merely the joining of organs, is much more than that. The Biblical word for sexual intercourse is “to know”. A man and wife are to “know” each other in the depths of their being. The word “know” comes from the Greek ginosko frequently indicates a relation between the person “knowing” and the object “known”, in this respect, what is “known” is of value to the one who knows, and hence the establishment of the relationship.

Thinking about your lover on a regular basis is what prompted the brain to release chemicals that are a crucial bonding agent in lovemaking. But whenever your brain STOP THINKING about your partner because of their shortcomings or what you disliked in them before marriage and now it is resurfacing, you will begin to unconsciously SUPPRESS (block out, hold back, repress, stifle, restrain) your ability to respond to sex.

When your sexual responses are blocked out as a woman, any slight touch by your husband will irritates you and all the sensitive erotic parts of your body (e.g Nipples, Clitoris, Tongue, Ear and etc) will become painful. And when its the man's sexuality that is blocked out, his penis will become weak and he will start suffering from "Impartial Impotency".

Catch up with me tomorrow in this group. I will be talking about the "Bonding Chemicals"and how to reactivate them so that you will begin to enjoy sex with your partner.

NAKED AND NOT ASHAME:

A vivacious young mother confessed to me during a counselling session, she said “Pastor Jabari, my husband and I have been married nine years, and have four children, but I guess I have never experienced a climax (sexual satisfaction)”. Her husband longs for romance. This is a dangerous state. A married man or woman should not be wandering around with an unfulfilled libido. An ideal woman knows that sex is vital to her marriage. Unless both she and he are satisfied during intercourse, their marriage is at the end of the robe.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both NAKED, the man and his wife, and were NOT ASHAMED“. Gen. 2 v 24 - 25

What does this tell us? God invented sex to bring pleasure to the man and his wife. In the Garden of Eden, sex was without shame or guilt. Three words described sexual freedom in marriage in the above scripture. They are cleaving, naked and not ashamed. Let us defined these words in detail: -
Cleave Hb. dabaq meaning “to keep close” with an abstract idea of “loyalty, devotion”. In Genesis 2 v 24, the usage reflects the basic meaning of one object’s being joined to another through sex. In this sense, the word is rendered like “and shall have sex with his wife”.

Naked Hb. erom meaning exposed for examination. This word represents the male and female physiological structure. In its first Biblical appearance, erom implies “undefended parts”. The word represents the more general idea of being without clothes, with no necessary suggestion of shamefulness; it means a state of being unclothed. This word signifies that:

• Adam and Eve did not hide their bodies from each other.
• They examine each other’s bodies to identify their erogenous zones.
• They did not hide their minds and feelings about their sexual needs and stimulation to each other. All was made bare! Their honeymoon was kicked off and sustained on the basis and bedrock of total nakedness to each other.

Ashame Hb. bosh meaning painful emotion generated by guilt and condemnation. Condemnation can only affect you if what you are doing is against God’s design e.g. fornication, adultery and any promiscuity. Such sins generate guilt and condemnation. In the case of Adam and Eve, there was no guilt, no condemnation because their union was a perfect marriage. There should be no shame in sex in marriage. Husband and wife should find comfort in being naked together. Are you ashamed of exposing your body to your partner? Get rid of every guilt and shame to make your marriage a Garden of Eden.

HE COMPLAINT TO ME “MY WIFE IS NOT ACTIVE ON BED”:

While I was in my study room, a troubled husband came to my house and banged at the door, screeming bitterly about his wife inability to satisfy him sexually. He said “Pastor Jabari, she sleep like a wood”. I calm him down and told him that I understand the emotional stress he is going through and also understand why his wife might not be active on bed. I told him that a woman is like a fruit, which will not yield its sweetness until you rub it between your hands. Look at the basil plant; if you do not rub it warm with your fingers, it will not emit any scent. Like the amber, if it is not abrade it keeps hidden within its pores the aroma contained in it.

This apply to the woman, if you do not animate her with your toying, intermixed with kissing, nibbling, fondling and touching, you will not obtain from her what you are wishing; you will feel no enjoyment when you share her couch and you will awaken in her heart neither inclination nor affection, nor love for you; all her qualities will remain hidden.

What creates affection in the female heart, with respect to the pleasures of intercourse, are the toying and touches which precede it, and then the close embrace now of ejaculation.

Isn’t sex such a fun? This it is which gives birth to lasting intimacy, and if matters have not been manage this way the woman has not had her full share of pleasure, and the man feels he is cheated. Real love is mental attitude; therefore, it is positive and not possessive on bed.

SEX IS FUN: Husbands, slow down. She need a foreplay.

All marriage counsellors agree upon the absolute necessity of sexual compatibility in marriage. Nine out of ten divorces are caused by sexual troubles. Isn’t it pitiful, then, that in this 21st Century, with all of our books, Internet structure, scientific discoveries and education, marriages should be destroyed and lives wrecked by ignorance concerning this most primal and natural instinct?

Most men are like Cock, they come home and tell the wife "Oya undress yourself". No sweet talk, no romance. He just want it and he don't care if the woman is in the mood or not. Most women become frigid as a result of their husband's inability to stimulate them before intercourse. Solomon taught us a great lesson in S/S. 4: 1-5. He knew that the best way to have a sexual satisfaction is to stimulate the woman. He talk about her eyes, neck, mouth, breasts and touching every part of her.

HUSBAND - Before setting to work with your wife, excite her with toying so that the copulation will finish to your mutual satisfaction. Thus, it will be well to play with her before you introduce your verge and accomplish the cohabitation. The best way to climax is to excite your wife by kissing her cheeks, sucking her lips and nibbling at her breasts. You are to lavish kisses on her navel and thighs, and titillate the lower parts. Neglect no part of her body, she is your garden, and fountain of running water; cling close to her bosom, and show her your love. Interlace your legs with hers, and press her in your arms. Under her neck, let your left hand serve her for a cushion and your right hand to bore her up as a young doe.

“His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me” S/S. 2 v 6

When you are close to her, and you see her eyes getting dim, and hear her yearning for coition, heaving deep sighs, then let your yearning and her yearning be joined into one, and let your lubricity rise to the highest point; for this will be the moment most favourable to the game of love. The pleasure, which the woman then feels, will be extreme; as for yourself, you will cherish her even more and she will continue her affection for you.

GOOD SMELL ENHANCES SEX:

“Ointment and perfume delight the heart…” Prov. 27 v 9

For years, humans have used perfumes to cover up natural body odour and to put on attractive pleasant scents. When we get stimulated sexually, our bodies emit a bonding chemical called “Pheromone”. The word "pheromone" is from the Greek word pherein and horman, meaning "excitement transfer". It is defined as "a substance that is produced by an organism and that elicits a specific and unlearned response in another member of the same species". Therefore, pheromones are used as intraspecific communication mediums by most animals and insects, human included. 

Pheromones dictate sexual behaviour and attract the opposite sex when secreted. Pheromones are found throughout the living world and are the most ancient form of sexual communication. Even in Ancient time, the use of Perfumes that has pheromones was recognised as sexual enhancement chemical.

“I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves with love” Prov. 7 v 17 – 18

King Solomon knew the captivating power of perfumed and therefore used it to seduced women. Whenever Solomon was passing by, the daughters of Zion became stimulated through the scent emitted from his raiment that filled the atmosphere with love. The scripture says they lifted up their voices with great delight when they saw Solomon “coming from the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the merchant’s fragrant powders?” S/S. 3 v 6.

How do you take care of your body? Do you smell good or bad before bed time? Bad smell kills sexual desire in most people. t might be because of bad smell that is why your wife or husband is not always in the mood for sex. So take good care of your body.

SEX - THE GIFT OF PLEASURE FOR MARRIED COUPLES:

We need to thank God and appreciate Him for this wonderful gift of pleasure to humanity. He placed man’s greatest pleasure in the natural parts of woman and has designed the natural parts of man to afford the greatest enjoyment to woman. He has not endowed the woman part with any pleasurable or satisfactory feeling until the same have been penetrated by the instrument of the male; and likewise the sexual organs of man know neither rest or quietness until they have entered those of the female.

Hence the mutual operation there takes place between husband and wife intertwining, owing to the contact of the lower parts of the two bellies, the enjoyment soon happens. The man is at work as with a pestle, while the woman seconds him by lascivious movements; finally comes the ejaculation.
The kiss on the mouth, on the two cheeks, upon the neck, as well as the sucking up of flesh lips, is gifts of God, destined to provoke erection at the favourable moment. God also embellished the chest of the woman with breasts, and has given brilliant colours to her cheeks. He presented her with eyes that inspire love, and eyelashes like polished blades that stimulate man. He has furnished her with a rounded belly, and a beautiful buttock.

God furnished this object “woman” with a sweet mouth, a soft tongue, and two lips like the impression of the hoof of the gazelle in the sands of the desert.

Then the Almighty creator plunged the woman into a sea of splendours, of voluptuousness, and of great delights, and covered her with precious vestments, with brilliant girdles and provoking smiles. In due course, let us praise and exalt Him, our maker who has created woman with beauty, with appetising flesh, which awaken desires and give only her HUSBAND authority to derive pleasure from her.

God then bestowed upon her the empire of PLEASURE; all husbands, weak or strong, is subjected to a weakness for the love of a romantic woman. This is hilarious!

HOW TO BOOST YOUR WIFE'S LIBIDO:

What an agony! The more he tries to entice his wife to be better in bed, the colder she is likely to get with his own needs screaming within, feel frustrated. Despite her husband’s best intentions, the wife could soon end up feeling devastated, imagining he married her simply because he wanted a legal prostitute or SEX MACHINE.

The shocking truth is that the most common reason for female frigidity is that their men are not the great lovers they imagine themselves to be.
As plants can flower only under the right conditions, so a normal woman can reach the pinnacle of sexual passion only if she feels loved, valued, secured, relaxed and physically refreshed.

When a man tries to overcome his wife’s sexual inhibitions by focusing on the physical, she slips from feeling secure and relax to feeling pressured to perform. She slumps from feeling valued as a person to feeling reduced to a toy. Under the devastation of this emotionally crippling insult, her sexual passion dries up. On the other hand, if she is loved, honoured and cherished, her yearning to sexually thrill him will sky rocket.

Your wife’s passion is the culmination of all the feelings you have generated within her. If she is cold in bed, it is usually because the way she is treated outside of bed has left her cold.

When a husband does little to make his wife feel valued except when he wants his sexual needs met, acting like that will not prevent him from being a miserable failure as a lover. A woman’s hearing fails if the only time she hears “I love you”, is during foreplay. To her, the word end up sounding remarkably like, “I love conning you into serving my needs only”. And you are beautiful, like “all I care about is using your body as something to masturbate inside of”.

If how you treat your wife on bed is inconsistent with how you treat her the rest of the time, your attempts to arouse her will affirm not your lovemaking skill but your hypocrisy. Under these circumstances your failure to sexually arouse her would prove not her frigidity but her intelligence.

YEARNING FOR COITION IN MARRIAGE:

The Bible shows how beautiful it is for a wife to enjoy sex with her husband. Both the wife and her husband are mandated to satisfy each other as we saw in my previous posts.

In Song of Solomon, the wife says to her husband during foreplay: “Let your lips cover me with kisses…! How handsome you are, my lover! How you excite me” chp 1: 2-16.

And the husband responded with great delight: “My bride, your lips drip honey. You, my bride, are a garden; a garden locked to others. Your garden is filled with… delicious fruits”. Chp. 4: 11-13

These two scripture reveals that the two lovers where romancing. It is your duty to individually create a good atmosphere that will enhance your sexual ecstasy. And you can do that through soft murmurs, encouraging noises, sounds of pleasure, approval and sensation, gasping and shivering.

As a responder, you wife must be completely comfortable undressing before your husband. Aim at provocating him deliberate. Look him in the eyes and slowly remove each of his garments, caressing your skin as you do so. 

Husband, there is a right and wrong way of getting ready for copulation. Take it easy and slowly. Do not rush. Build up your passion before launching into the deep. Sex is all in the brain. Yes, the brain is the biggest sex organ.

PRACTICAL STEPS TO KINDLE YOUR WIFE'S SEXUAL FEELINGS:
Many of the most significant things in kindling a woman’s sexual feelings are quite different to what makes a man feel like having sex. Here are pointers as to how to help your wife (I said WIFE not girlfriend) know she is loved, and bringing her to the peak of her sexuality.

• Praise her. Regularly find things you like about her physical appearance, her character and abilities, and verbalise your admiration. Appreciate all that she does for you and freely express your gratitude.

• Be loyal to her. Don’t say negative things about her behind her back. Defend her if anyone speaks negatively about her. Don’t undermine her authority in front of the children.

• Seek to discover her inner feelings. Keep pushing your self to new levels of tenderness and sensitivity to her needs. Aim to go beyond any world standard and gallantly break into new realms of tenderness and exalting her.

• Reason with her. Recognise and make allowances for times when she is tired or upset. Massage can be optional.

• Respect her opinions. You might not always agree with her, but try to. Thoughtfully consider her views. Never rubbish them suddenly.

• Consult her before making any decisions. Share your plans and dreams with her. Be open and honest with her about every aspect of your life. Regularly ask her such things as:

i. What can I do to make you feel more loved?
ii. What can we do to make sex more exciting and fulfilling for you?

You were born to be a lover. Rise up to your high calling and you will find fulfilment beyond your fondest dreams.

UNHOLY SEXUAL CORDS CAN HINDER YOUR ABILITY TO MARRY:

A sexual cord is something that connects one person to another; sort of like an invisible rope. Scripture tells us that when two people marry they become one. Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh". This is a holy cord, or Biblical union. People have either holy cords or unholy cords. Holy cords lead to righteousness; but unholy cords to unrighteousness. 

In an unholy cord or union not only do people share physical things, including sexually transmitted diseases, but they are also sharing spiritually evil things (resulting in bondage). Proverbs 5:22 says, his own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with cords of his sins. In Proverbs 5:22 the Hebrew word for ‘cords’ is “chebel” a rope (as twisted)… a noose (as of cords); ruin, destruction, pain, rope, snare, sorrow”.

In any sexual relationship, whether married or not, the people participating become one flesh. The difference between the married and the unmarried is that the married become one unto righteousness; and the unmarried become one unto unrighteousness. Either way, they are one. Because they are one, they can feel the effect of what the other is doing – good or bad. In a Biblical union when they are truly walking together with the Lord daily in their lives they will feel God’s blessings and His direction. If they are not in a Biblical union Satan will try and lead them towards a path of destruction. They will have no good direction for their life. They will live their life on worldly emotions. Their sinful lifestyle will cause turmoil in their relationship – and many times accusation towards one another.

When a person is living in sin they are allowing Satan to bring emotional torment into their life, and into the life of any person they are having sexual relations with. Even in a Biblical marriage union a person can feel the emotional turmoil of what their spouse is doing, if their spouse is repeatedly sinning, they can feel the negative emotional effects of that sin.

THE EVIL OF FANTASIZING AND LUSTING:

There are many different types of unnatural or unholy cords and all create bondage in a person’s life. Continual participation, or exposure, to sin will create sinful cords in our heart and mind (our soul). These sinful cords connect our thoughts to Satan’s evil realm. These evil thoughts – and the evil spirits inspiring the thoughts – will draw us into sin just as a rope pulls a cart. Isaiah 5:18: "Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope". The Hebrew word for ‘cords’ in Isaiah is “chebel” a rope (as twisted)… a noose (as of cords); rope, snare, sorrow”. 

What is fantasizing? The word means "daydreaming, imagining, woolgathering, pensive, inattentive, negligent, preoccupied, distracted, in a world of your own, wandering, lost in thought'. Thinking or fantasizing within one’s mind towards the opposite sex can open spiritually evil doorways (and thought patterns) in their life. You may think fantasizing or lusting after someone is not bad as long as you do not actually physically participate in a sinful act with the person, again, this is not what scripture says: Matthew 5:28 say, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”. 

Jesus explains, in depth, the dangers of a person even looking at or concentrating on sinful things. He elaborated on how this evil can infiltrate our hearts in Mark 7:21-23 “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, ......: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man. And Galatians 5:19-21, tells us that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 

Lust and desire does affect a person’s soul. It is important to understand what an unnatural or unholy cord is and how it has affected your life; even if it happened to you before you were saved you can still suffer the negative emotional affects after salvation if you do not sever the cord through direct prayer. Many times because a person is a Christian they believe that Satan cannot affect them, especially their soul. However, anytime a person, including a Christian, gives in to lust of the flesh it affects or touches their soul (which is their mind, will, and emotions). 

The Hebrew word for ‘soul’ in the Old Testament is nephesh; heart, lust, mind, will, sense, appetite, desire, pleasure, self, greedy. The Greek word for ‘soul’ in the New Testament is psuche; heart, mind. The Greek meaning corresponds with the Hebrew. God’s Holy Spirit lives in our spirit when we are saved, but when we allow sin and temptation of the flesh to affect our soul how long will God continue to dwell in our spirit? When a person cannot stop them self from sinning and is repeatedly giving in to this sin then this person, or Christian, is in bondage.

MEN, ARE YOU DATING HER FOR MARRIAGE OR FOR RECREATIONAL PURPOSES?

You saw the lady, beautiful and charming and you asked if she will be willing to be your girl friend. The question is, are you dating her for recreational purposes (sexual pleasure) or to see if she is compatible and suitable for marriage? Are you really ready for marriage or not. How is your relationship with God? When we read Genesis, the word tells us that God gave Adam 5 things before he gave him a wife.

1. He breathed life into his nostrils. This indicates a strong and powerful relationship between God and Adam. Adam understood who God was in his life. The first thing that man need is the presence of God and not a wife.

2. He put Adam in the garden giving him a place to live that was his own. Adam was ready to be out on his own, apart but not separated from his father. His work never affect his relationship with God.

3. He gave Adam work to do. Adam had a job and was able to support himself and keep his home before thinking of a wife.

4. He gave Adam rules to live by. God told Adam that he could eat from any tree of the garden except one and Adam understood authority so that when the wife come in he will not abuse her.

5. Finally, God had Adam name the animals and within his own heart determine that things were paired up but he wasn’t. Adam developed a need and desire for a wife.

Until these things are in place for you, then it may be dating for recreational purposes rather than marriage purpose. Only you know the answers to these questions.

WHO DO YOU THINK IS THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR JUSTIN BETWEEN KAREN, SANDRA AND LINDA?

Justin thought he was in love with three different girls at the same time!

Karen was a member of his church and they saw each other often at church services. There was something different about this girl! She was completely sold out to her Lord and totally unselfish—always thinking of other people. When Justin was with her, he thought big thoughts and dreamed big dreams. He felt inspired to go out and do things for others and for his Lord.

Then there was Sandra. She lived next door and Justin had grown up with her. He could talk over anything with Sandra. She was a good sport and fun to be with. Best of all, she really understood him. When he needed advice or wanted to talk over some problem, Justin headed straight for Sandra. Though he cared deeply for her, Justin had never kissed her. In fact, he had never even felt like it. His love for Sandra was that of a friend.

The third girl in Justin’s life was Linda. She was a real knockout! She not only had a beautiful face, but she also had a lovely figure. Justin felt proud when he escorted Linda to a party. But when they were out on a date, Justin couldn’t think of much to discuss with Linda. The attraction was mostly physical. He feel like having sex with her.

Justin’s three “loves” illustrate the fact that there are different kinds of love. Are you in love with a lady? What type of love do you have for her? Choose wisely!

Neither of the three ladies are good for Justin. His three “loves” illustrate the fact that there are different kinds of love: Agape Love, Friendship Love and Sexual Love. 
 
Which of these three do you think are most needed in a happy, successful marriage? The answer is all three! It is like a three-legged stool—you need all three legs to keep it from falling! The right partner you need most have these three components.
 
However, it is very important that these three kinds of love come together in the right order. First, for a happy and successful marriage, you must have agape love—the unselfish love which desires the best for the other person. Then you need friendship love—the love that enables a husband and wife to enjoy being together.

Finally, in a happy marriage there is satisfying sexual love. If he marry Karen, he will lack friendship and sex. If he marry Sandra, there will be no agape (fear and love of God) and sexual fulfilment. If he marry Linda, he will lack agape and friendship but he will enjoy sex. So, the three loves are needed in marriage.  Go for the lady that has the three ingridients.

HOW FAR IS TOO FAR?

Research has shown that, even with couples who do not intend to go all the way, they will be sexually involved after approximately 300 hours spent alone with each other, unless definite steps are taken to prevent this. The formula goes like this:

How far is “too far”? An automobile is equipped with safety devices to let you know when you are in danger of ruining the engine. For example, when the engine is running hot, a red light flashes on the dash. This lets you know that something is wrong. You need to stop immediately and find out what it is. Here are some “warning lights” to let you know when you are going too far:

• You are going too far when a guy’s or a girl’s hands start roaming.
• You are going too far when either of you starts removing clothing. Keep all of your clothing on all of the time.
• You are going too far when you are doing something you would not want to be doing around someone you really respect.
• You are going too far when you cannot make an intelligent decision as to what you should or should not do and carry out that decision.

To Summarize: Before you start dating, you need to set your guidelines as to how far to go. The only guideline that is 100% safe is: Keep your hands off and your clothes on!

TRUE LOVE IS NOT FOR SALE:

Song 8:7 "Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned". 

Some time ago in California, a wealthy, lovesick young man named Keith was very attracted to a young girl named Karine. He proposed marriage but she said, “I don’t love you and I’m too young to get married.”
What did Keith do? He holed up in a $200 a day hotel room nearby and spent a lot of time crying. He also spent roughly $20,000 trying to get Karine to change her mind.

To show his affection for her, he provided a Learjet, placed on standby at the airport, “in case she wanted to ride around.” He sent between 3,000 and 5,000 flowers to her house. A limousine equipped with a bar and television was kept parked outside her door. He sent musicians to serenade her. He sent all kinds of fancy food, candy and perfume. He had people walking around her house carrying signs which said, “Keith loves Karine.”

What did Karine say to all this? She said, “NO”—period! She didn’t love him and she was not attracted to a man who was trying to bribe her and making a fool of himself in the process.

The moral of the story is: Don’t chase someone of the opposite sex. When you do, it wipes out your dignity and self-respect, and it lowers your value in the other person’s sight. How does that person react? He or she usually runs as fast as he or she can—in the other direction.

THE WAY BOYS AND GIRLS THINK ABOUT LOVE:

One basic difference between a guy and a girl is the way they think about love. A girl thinks of love in terms of romance and marriage. She wants a guy to love her, cherish her, talk to her, listen to her, and put her on a pedestal. She wants love, protection and security.

A guy thinks of love differently. He thinks of it more in terms of sex. The focus of his attention is the physical body of the girl. He is not daydreaming about romantic love; it is the sexual aspect of the relationship that has his attention. The only time he is truly committed in relationship is when he marry.

There is a reason for this. The time of greatest sexual desire for a guy is in his late teens. His glands are working overtime. This is why he tends to think of love more in terms of sex, but his desire for sex is not an evidence of real love.

Girls, write this down in concrete: Just because a guy wants to have sex with you does not mean that he loves you. We do not want to be too hard on the guys but the fact is that most guys could enjoy sex with anything in a skirt! So do not get all excited just because some guy lets you know that he would like to have sex with you.

Just because a guy wants to have sex with you does not mean he loves you
The peak of a woman’s sexual desires comes later. In a guy-girl relationship, the girl is not thinking primarily about sex. She is thinking about romantic love.
It has been said, “A girl plays at sex, for which she is not ready, because what she wants is love. A guy plays at love, for which he is not ready, because what he primarily wants is sex.”

What the girl primarily wants is love. She wants someone to hold her and tell her that she is special. She wants a committed boyfriend who loves her, someone to talk to and to share her life with. Her love drive is mature.

Her sex drive, however, is not mature. She is not ready for sex and all the dangers and problems that come with it. She knows that it is the girl who gets burned in these matters. She has a lot more to lose than the guy, and she is not ready for all the heavy stuff that goes with a sexual relationship. But she does not want to lose her boyfriend, so she “plays at sex” to get the love she wants and needs.

The guy, on the other hand, is not ready for love. He is not ready for a lifetime commitment. He is not ready for all the responsibilities that go with being a husband and a father. His love drive is not mature at all.

What does the guy do? He “plays at love” in order to get what he primarily wants. He uses words of love and tells the girl what she wants to hear. We do not question his sincerity, but the focus of his attention is on sex. He may sincerely think that he loves the girl, but he does not understand real love. He does not realize how selfish he is in thinking only of his sexual needs.

If a girl is not careful, things can get out of hand very quickly. She gives him an inch and he takes a mile! Before long she is wondering if she is out with a sex maniac. What is the moral lesson you learn? How can a boy control his sex drive and how can a lady say NO to his advances?

SHE IS YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE? DON'T TOUCH HER!:

“Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent”.  Prov 6:27-29

In the above passage of scripture we see that fire can't come into a person unless they TAKE IT. How does a person take fire? It’s easy, simply by placing themselves in the position to RECEIVE. How would one do that? Verse 28 asks us, “can one WALK”, which suggests or denotes going to places that stimulates you. How can we prevent burning lust if we continue to go around or entertain places, people, and images that will spark the fire of lust? Prov. 6:18 tells us that the Lord hates FEET QUICK TO MISCHIEF.

That MARRIED WIFE you are committing adultery with is your NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE. That young girl you are spoiling will be your NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE someday. God said, she is a HOT COAL. If you only WALK on the Hot Coal, it will seared your feet because you will WALK OUT. But if you enter into MARRIAGE COVENANT with the WOMAN, the HOT COAL will WARM YOU because you will never WALK OUT. Whosoever touches her shall not be innocent because he knows that he will not marry her but only WALK on the Hot Coal and WALK OUT. 

Surely, there are two consequences which shall follow: 

BURNED CLOTHE: 

Your garment of righteousness will be burnt, which means, your relationship with God will be terminated, His blessings for your life will be diverted and the covering of His glory upon you will be taking away. You will then become an open target for all kinds of immoral spirits to take their abode in you. 

SEARED FEET: 

Your feet (that which enable you to walk and fulfil destiny) will be seared. To be “seared” means “to be restricted, halt, embargo, stopped, suspended, interrupted, scorched and freeze”. If you specialize in touching and making sex with that woman who is (or will soon be) your neighbour’s wife, your ability to “walk” and fulfil destiny will be restricted, halted or interrupted. Things will begin to fall apart in your life, career and business.

DEVELOPING A LISTENNING HABIT WILL HELP YOUR MARRIAGE:

A lady went to her pastor because she wanted a divorce from her husband. During counselling he asked her, “Do you have any grounds?” She said, “Yeah, three acres outside of town. You’ve been there preacher!”

“No” he said, “I mean, do you have a grudge?” She thought a minute and said, “No, we have a carport!”

Trying a different tactic, he said. “No, like, does your husband beat you up?” She said, “No, I get up at 6, an hour before him!”

The preacher said, “What I am asking is, do you have a case?” Without missing a beat, she said, “Nope, we’ve got a John Deere box!”

Finally, in exasperation the preacher said, “Ma’am, what I’m trying to ask you is this; are you and your husband having any troubles?”

She said, “Oh yes, preacher. We’re having lots of troubles”. “Like what,” asked the preacher? “Well” said the wife, “the problem is my husband. He just can’t communicate.”

Let me just give you a few thoughts about communication to whet your appetite.

Learn to listen to the other person. When you talk, it would be good to look at one another. It wouldn't even hurt to turn the TV off. It might not even hurt to lean forward and get a little closer to one another.

Learn to handle your anger. We have so much anger in our culture. There is so much anger in family relationships today. When people are angry they handle it in one of several ways. Sometimes they just blow up. Other times they clam up. Sometimes they throw up, as in the past!

We have to learn to open up and learn to properly express ourselves. 

Learn to avoid certain words. You know exactly what words to say to get your mate upset. You know the words that cut them and cause them pain. We all know which buttons to push, don’t we? We have to work and learn to get rid of those kinds of words.