Part Two - SPIRITUAL MIDWIVES FOR HONOURABLE MEN:

"And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her. Eccl 7:26 NKJV

    

In the above verse, King Solomon said that he made several discoveries in his investigation. First he discovered that a woman who has not activated her covenant of motherhood to preserve life is worse (more bitter) than death. She is a snare and a trap, whose ways confine silly men like chains. Second he discovered that only Honourable Men who knows how to fight the battle of life, men who pleases God can escape her.

Solomon began with the sinful woman, the ungodly woman who traps men and leads them to death. We learned under the covenant of motherhood that the woman is a gate way to life or death. Solomon gave a good example of women who have broken the covenant of motherhood and has no regards for human lives:

Prov 2:16-19 “To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words, Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the COVENANT of her God. For her house leads down to death, And her paths to the dead; None who go to her return, Nor do they regain the paths of life —NKJV

The deadness refers here means that she drains spiritual strength out of anybody who comes in contact with her. She specialises in weakening strong men by making them become vile. Solomon himself had been snared by many foreign women who enticed him away from the Lord and into the worship of heathen gods (1 Kings 11:3-8). The way to escape this evil woman is to fear God and seek to please Him. The man who walks with God, and he alone, shall escape this sore evil: and even he that fears God, if he get with an artful woman, may be soon robbed of his strength, and become like other beastly men.

Get this fact engraved into your mind and heart.

The devil does not want to see any lady becoming a Midwife who will preserve life and give life. He will not be happy to see her getting married to an Honourable Man, so he manipulate and use her as his tool to ensnare men. Devil knows when he allow that glorious marriage between  a Midwife and an Honourable Man to happen, the born-again, Spirit-filled couple will rise up a godly heritage and he is fighting fiercely to prevent that God-given vision from coming to pass in your life. Instead of crying tears of sorrow for been over 30yrs without a husband, you should be righteously indignant. Why? Because the devil has no legal right to halt or hinder God’s vision for your life as a woman who fears the Lord. But if you are part of the End-Time Seductresses, I pity you. Don’t ever expect to get an Honourable Man.

Ladies, it is your role to birth your destiny from the spiritual realm into the natural realm. God has a destiny plan for your life and for your life partner. And when the appointed time for that destiny to come forth arrives it is good for you to stand as a Midwife to spare men from the death trap of satan. What are the qualifications for such a position? Understanding the times and the seasons is a prerequisite.  Exodus talks about the midwives named Shiphrah  and Puah in Exodus1:15. At that time Pharaoh was ordering all the Hebrew boy infants to be killed at birth. (Exodus 1:16)  These women against the orders of the most powerful man alive at the time, saved the Hebrew babies from destruction because they "feared God" (Exodus 1:17). So a spiritual midwife fears God and because of her understanding of the times and seasons, she knows that there are powers in place that would seek to destroy the plans of God for her marriage by using her as a sex tool. But being in the right position at the right time, she can protect the destiny of men by not sleeping with them but birthing them in prayers to enter the Kingdom of God.  Moses was one who was saved by the Hebrew midwives. His destiny was to lead the people to the Promised Land and to perform miracles by God's power and to receive the Torah for the people. Had it been the Midwives did not spare the male children; many women wouldn’t have gotten husbands to marry. Zipporah could have stayed single without Moses, her hero and the Israelites would have remain in the bondage of singlehood and perish in Egypt.

A spiritual midwife is one who will get in between men and the enemies plan to destroy God’s marriage covenant. She will stand there between men and everything unholy and say no to sex before marriage, no to condom, no to abortion because she fears the Lord. Because she understands timing and know that Honourable men are seeking for Midwives who fears the Lord according to Proverbs 31:30, which says “a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Let’s go to the Written Word of God and examine how satan carries out this evil plot to hinder men from entering the Kingdom of God and how the women can bring to birth the purposes of God for their marriage and nation.

Exodus 1:15-22 “And the king of Egypt spake to the Hebrew midwives, of which the name of the one was Shiphrah, and the name of the other Puah: ¹⁶ And he said, When ye do the office of a midwife to the Hebrew women, and see them upon the stools; if it be a son, then ye shall kill him: but if it be a daughter, then she shall live. ¹⁷ But the midwives feared God, and did not as the king of Egypt commanded them, but saved the men children alive.
¹⁸ And the king of Egypt called for the midwives, and said unto them, Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive? ¹⁹ And the midwives said unto Pharaoh, Because the Hebrew women are not as the Egyptian women; for they are lively, and are delivered ere the midwives come in unto them. ²⁰ Therefore God dealt well with the midwives: and the people multiplied, and waxed very mighty. ²¹ And it came to pass, because the midwives feared God, that he made them houses. ²² And Pharaoh charged all his people, saying, Every son that is born ye shall cast into the river, and every daughter ye shall save alive.

As I was studying this passage of Scripture, the Holy Spirit quickened seven phrases in my spirit:

* Office of a Midwife

* The Stools

* Kill the men

* Let the women live

* The people wax mighty

* The Midwives feared God

* God made them houses

Office of a Midwife (verse 16): The office of the midwife is just as critical as the office of the apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor or teacher. If you don’t believe that statement, go back and read Exodus 1 again. It was not an apostle or prophet who saved those men children alive. It was the midwives! You need to fully comprehend the great sacrifice those midwives made when they saved the male children alive. The king of Egypt could have easily ordered those ladies to be executed for their dereliction of duty.

Because of their courageous acts, those women changed the course of history. Beloved, there is a stirring in the realm of the Spirit. We are on the verge of seeing a mass harvest of men come into the Body of Christ, because of the impact of the midwives. These men will be like Joshua, Caleb, Peter and Moses. They will wax strong in the spirit. Many ladies are crying because Honourable men are scars in the Church. But there is going to be release of Honourable Men for the daughters who have activated their Covenant of Motherhood, women who stand like Midwives in this 21^st Century.

In order for this next mighty move of God to take place, the midwives must be strategically positioned at the stools.

The Stools, (verse 16)
In those days the stools were a pair of bricks or stones on which the women would crouch to give birth. The stools were the actual birthing place. This next point is extremely vital, so follow me closely.

The stools represent the altar of God. The plot of the devil is to prevent the men from coming to the altar and getting born-again. The devil is hell bent on preventing the men from getting saved. He has pulled out all stops to keep the men bound in the kingdom of darkness. 

If the men make a move toward the altar, the orders from the throne of satan are to block, prevent, hinder or kill them. The demons will do whatever it takes to keep the men from coming to Christ, but if it is a female, they have instructions to let her get saved.

Here is another startling point the church has somehow missed. Never in biblical history can you find God’s people prevailing over the enemies of God when there were no mighty men of valor, (See Isaiah 3:1-26, Numbers 13:17-33, Judges 2:1-23, and Exodus 1:8-14).

As long as there are no strong valiant men in the church, satan will dominate the kingdom of God. But if the men get born-again and get to a church where the pastor trains them how to brandish the Sword of the Spirit, satan has no power or might to fight against that congregation, (See Psalm 105:24). The only way for satan to win at this war is to keep the men away from the altar of God. It’s important to see that it was to the Hebrew midwives that Pharaoh gave the command to kill all the male children. Women, now is the time for you to stand as Midwives and say no to ABORTION, no to CONDOM, no to Relationship with MARRIED MEN, no to FORNICATION; cried out to God until the male children are save. 

This message continues in Part Three. 

PROPHETIC MARRIAGE: The Hero & His Lover.

“How long will thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? For the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man”, Jer. 31: 22 (KJV).

Reversionism or Backsliding is the negative status of the believer on earth, which is the opposite of spiritual growth. It is recession from any stage of spiritual growth, characterized by negative volition toward doctrine, a frantic search for happiness, emotional revolt and scar tissue of the soul. It is analogous to apostasy and a counterpart of evil. It is living on substitute instead of reality. It is a rejection of Bible Doctrine.

Reversionism is the picture of “until when” will you go from one man to another.The daughters have backslide, moving from one lover to another. “To go about ”Hebrew chamag means, “to wonder about, from one place to another, to turn here and there; to go from one person to another seeking for temporal happiness.

In this case, Judah was an unfaithful woman, going from one lover to another, seeking happiness through immorality and promiscuity. By doing this, she destroy her capacity to discover the Right Man.

Judah’s unfaithfulness is called ‘’backsliding’’ Hebrew "Shobah", which means, ‘’rebellion’’. That means, she knew the truth ,believe the truth, but out of her volition, chose not to obey the truth. Rather she lies on substitute. The same thing is happing with  many of our daughters today. We know that it’s wrong to enter into intimate relationship with unbelievers, but that’s what we do.

The Doctrine of Right Man/Right Woman is to illustrate the relationship between Christ and Judah. Christ and the Church, and Man with his wife.

‘’The Lord has created a new thing on the earth". Jer. 31 v 22   

The Hebrew word for create "bara" take us back to the origin of Man/Woman in Genesis 1: 26, 27; 5: 1-2; 2: 7, 18, 25.

In the original creation of humankind, Jesus Christ provided Right Man/Right Woman relationship and the first gift in all of human history is the woman. The ‘’new thing’’ means, a refresh thing, a recent in the order of creation.

How long will you go from one wrong man to another? For the Lord has created recent thing in the earth and here it is, ‘’A Woman shall compass a man’’. The Hebrew  word ‘’woman’’ mentioned here in Jeremiah 31:22 is different from the Hebrew word Ishah mentioned in Genesis. Here, the Hebrew word used is Nagebah and it means “Female from the sexual form”. The word carries the technical idea of the anatomical structure of the woman. She is designed as a responder, to perforate without violence. It emphasis the female body which is designed in eternity pass to fit, response and complete only ONE MAN on earth.
What we have next is the phrase “Shall compass”. The verb “compass” Hb. Sabab actually describes the design of God in the embrace of the male and the female genitals.

The sexual relationship is between a Right Man/Right Woman and in this design, it is so fantastic that another person cannot duplicate it. Therefore, homosexuality, lesbianism, fornication, masturbation, bestiality are pervasions of divine design. Here we have Judah spiritually out of line.

A female shall compass means that the Right Woman will embrace the Right Man with technical meaning of intoxicating him. Naturally, when you intensely love a person, you develop a concentrated ado about that person. When the Right Woman discovers the Right Man and loves him in her soul, her whole attention rivets on him; he becomes her role model, the vital pattern for her life. He becomes her closest companion, influencing her thoughts and actions. No substitute can satisfy her again. She remains loyal to him.

The word “man” Hb. Gebah is different from the word Ish in Genesis. Gebah is defined as a hero, valiant, and warrior.When a woman has a Right Man, he is her hero, her model and security. Literally, until when will you go from one lover to another, oh daughter of revisionism, for the Lord has brought into existence a refreshing thing, a recent thing in the earth. For a female in her sexual from (anatomical structure) shall respond, embrace, intoxicate and totally satisfy “only” one hero in her lifetime. So, there is a perfect design without substitute anywhere under any circumstance.

Culled from my unpublish book tittle "Aggressive & Responding Love In Marriage".
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“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with, marry the person you can’t live without”

HEART TOUCHING LOVE STORY WITH ADVICE:

Is your marriage at the vast of collapsing, here is a love story that can bring back your love life.

John is telling his story:
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love my wife anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I did'nt have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her . I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gesture to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.

I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning until deaths do us apart.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah...blah. ..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

ARE YOU CALLED TO MARRY A PASTOR?:

Are you called to marry a pastor?

Stop and take a deep breath of reality before you decide to marry a pastor.
The role of a pastor’s wife is an unenviable position. It is not the place of eternal bliss and perfection that many imagine in their minds. Your pastor and his wife may look great on the outside but if they will be honest with you and allow you a look into the real life of a pastor and wife you will find out that what looks like a bed of roses is in fact a bed of roses with big thorns. Please allow me to take a moment to try to clue you in on what you can expect.

You better make sure you are marrying the man you love not the position you are desiring.
A pastor is just a man. Yes God may have anointed him to lead a flock of His sheep, but he is still a man and you will be faced with that strange dichotomy of seeing the anointed man of God on Sunday only to find the all too human man on Monday. He still likes his eggs a certain way, his house kept at a certain level and usually because of circumstance it has to be at a higher standard than most since people come and visit at any time of the day or night. He will expect you to be an exceptional hostess and to set a standard of dress and conduct for the women of the church. You will have to deal with the fact that he will still have human desires, emotions and failings. He will have feet of clay. If you marry a pastor just so you can have the perfect lifestyle you imagined it would be like, you will be severely disappointed. Contrary to popular opinion, being a pastor is not all that glamorous or easy. It is normally a job that asks for great sacrifice and little reward. Please consider that before you marry a pastor.

Make sure that you understand that when you marry a pastor you are marrying a man who puts Jesus before you.
You are marrying a man who has a call on his life. That means that where God calls he must follow. He has made a commitment to follow Jesus no matter where that may be. You may end up in the inner city, the rural countryside, or even in another country. Your nice little suburb lifestyle may be stretched beyond your wildest imaginations. You cannot imagine how many ladies have said “I don’t think so” when confronted with this reality. They want the man of God but not the call that goes with it. If you marry a pastor many times he will be asked to get up at 2:00 am and go minister to a family in need. He may have to work a secular job and pastor a small church and you will have to be willing to let him go when your personal time is very limited. You will feel many times that he is putting the church over you. He is not but he is being obedient to the call that God has placed on his life and you knew that before you married him. He is God’s first.

Understand that if you marry a pastor that you are a reflection on him.
People normally love their pastor but not always do they love the pastor’s wife. You will be held to a higher standard than anyone else in the church. I am not saying that this is right but it is reality. What you say, what you do, how you dress, how your children are taken care of and behave, how your husband looks, and how you conduct yourself in public will all be looked at with a nuclear powered microscope and the Hubble telescope. You are literally placing a target on both your forehead and your heart. That is why I believe it takes a special and unique woman to be married to a pastor. It takes a woman called to be a pastor’s wife.

Are you called to be a Pastor’s wife?
I would encourage you, before you even consider dating a pastor let alone marrying a pastor that you seriously get alone with God and seek his face about this. I believe that where God guides, He provides. I believe that if He calls then He enables. So if you are called to be a pastor’s wife you will be able to handle the immense challenge and responsibility before you. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.  The cost is great but the rewards will be greater. Not only will you be privileged to love on the sheep that Jesus died for personally but you will be that place of refuge, that calming influence, that voice of wisdom and the gentle caress of love to a man who God has chosen for a special purpose and together you will stand before Jesus on that great and glorious day and hear the words “Well done good and faithful servants. Enter into your rest”.

SINGLE AND FULFILED:

This is a topic that I can especially relate to, as I was often guilty of attempting to use love relationships to “complete” me. Yet, I never succeeded in obtaining complete fulfilment from a love relationship alone. In the past, I never wanted to be single because I was so insecure with myself. What I’ve learned from this experience and a decision I eventually made to be a better ‘me’ molded me into a different person from who I was 7 years ago. My heart goes out to all singles who are still in this dark place I once was. Sharing my mistakes and the choice I made to overcome the myths of being single is my way of trying to have my friends avoids the mistakes I made.

Here are some tips to deliver you from the myths about being single.

1. First, accept the fact that you can’t change people, you can only change yourself.
This is the most important principle that most people still struggle with every day. I had to learn it the hard way myself. Who ever told you that you could change another person lied terribly. We live in a world of “choice”. Everyone makes the choice of how they are going to act and we can’t do anything about that. We do however have the power to change “self”. It all starts with a decision. Our actions do speak volumes and sometimes move those around us to want to change too. I advise that the first thing we ought to do while we are single is to accept the fact that we can’t change anyone but ourselves.

2. Forgiving yourself and forgiving those who hurt you.
After accepting you can’t change your ex, you ought to forgive them and let go. Forgiving means they might not deserve it but you do it because you need to move on without that baggage. You might not be able to forget but you have to forgive. If you can’t forgive, how do you expect to be forgiven?

3. Learn from your mistakes. Start working on your weaknesses.
Bravo! Now that you have forgiven, you must be feeling better and ready to figure out the mistakes you made. What could you have done to make this work? What did you not do? Check yourself for things or habits that may not be appealing to a mate. As you identify you mistakes, start actively working to improve yourself. Make the decision “I want to be the best I can be”. I want to attract and not repel. Consciously work to improve yourself day by day. Remember, mistakes are not there to break you but to build you.

4. Breaking the age ’30′ myth.
By now, almost everybody knows that you are single again. They are judging you. You are even scared to go out. One of the “age 30” myths is starting to hit you hard at this point. If you are under 30 years old, you are questioning yourself: will I be married by 30 years?  If you are above 30, you are freaking out under pressure saying to yourself “My time is running out!” I want you to know today, age 30 can be the year where you make the best turn around decisions in your life. Not because you are out of the market (especially for the women), but because it is time to make choices that will change the rest on your life forever.

5. Keep yourself busy.
With the pressure on you, you probably want to get right back into another relationship like I always did. You end up out as quickly as you got in. Doing this was my way of filling the void of the past relationship. And I still blame what I like to call “Mr. Idleness” to a greater extend for that. There is a saying that goes “the idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. Keep yourself busy, exercise, educate yourself, take walks and keep yourself beautiful as you self renew.

6. Don’t compare yourself to your peers. You are unique!
If there is one thing you should take from this article, it’s this: none of your five fingers are the same. It goes same with people. No two people or circumstances are the same. So why would you want to be like someone else during this period? Stop looking for escape routes. Remember that you are still working on the mistakes that brought you to where you are.

7. Now, it’s time to get to know YOU… What do I really want?
It’s amazing how many people don’t know what they want. That alone is a recipe for disaster. If you don’t know what you want in a relationship then you are setting yourself up for anything. “Anything” is what brought you here. This is not the time to go for anything to fill up space. This is the time to dig deep and figure out how you really want to feel in a relationship and what qualities of a partner you are looking for. These two things will become the checks when you are ready for a relationship again. Take your time and write them down.

8. Learn to love yourself … if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else.
Now is the time to develop love for you. Yes, you did just read that, read it again! Let me ask you, if you can’t stand to be alone with yourself, how can you expect someone to love being alone with you? If you work on No. 3, you will soon begin to feel good about yourself. You must work steadily and consistently and find yourself at a higher level of self-esteem. You’ll know that you are ready, when you can answer my previous question with absolute confidence that anyone would be blessed to be in your presence. If your answer has any uncertainty in it, spend more time with No. 3. Could you spend the rest of your life alone with yourself? Believing in yourself and accepting the fact that being prepared to be single is actually preparation for being in a long lasting love relationship. This will enable you to live a fulfilled single life and a fulfilled life in a love relationship. You are going to be complete in any relationship you eventually get into, not the other way around.

9. Now, accept your partner with an open mind.
Most of the time we make too many guidelines of how we want to meet “the one” as if we have control over everything. When I gave up on my ability to change others and control of circumstances, and started focusing on changing me, my life changed drastically; good stuff navigated to me. An open mind with confidence about yourself is all you need at this stage. You could meet him/her at the grocery store, while catching the bus, at work. The question is are you ready? Is your mind free enough to notice?

10. When you meet someone, don’t claim them as “the One” before you get to know them.
If you have been patient enough until this point, then this is the time to even be more patient. I was mostly moved by looks and ignored the most vital aspect, which is the inner being.

At this stage, looks count but what matters most is the inner attraction. Give yourself some time to get to know this person. Check them against the list you created in tip No. 7. There is a reason why the list was done long before now. Be honest with yourself. Remember, you can’t change them. What you see is what you are going to get. Now ask yourself the famous question. Could you live the rest of your life with them?  If No, don’t give in. Take your time and free your mind to meet other people. If Yes, then throw away the list you created in tip No. 7 because you surely have someone worth opening your heart to and working with.

At this point, I can only wish you the best. Keep the faith!

DONT AWAKE LOVE BEFORE ITS TIME:

Song 2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Song 3:5 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Song 8:4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.


Whenever God tells us anything and feels that it bears repeating I think we should listen up. It’s important. We see where Jesus speaks and says, “Verily, verily” in that time it meant it was important. It was like saying, “Hey listen up!”

So we see here that God is saying to women, Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. He doesn’t just say it twice, he says it three times which makes me stand up and pay attention because if two times means it’s important, then three times means it’s super important! So let’s spend some time today and break this down. It’s important that we get this train of thought in our heart and that we teach our young girls this principal.

First off, what is God talking about when he says do not arouse or awaken love? How does this happen? I mean seriously we’ve all been told that we “fall” in love. But the only way to fall off a cliff is to walk along the edges. So to fall in love means we are walking along the edges of it. When the Lord tells us not to awaken love until it so desires, it means we aren’t supposed to walk along the cliff until the time is right. When is that time and how we do we know that it’s that time?

That’s the million dollar question because it’s different for everyone but there are some solid guidelines that we can be sure of. First off, there isn’t a magic age at which you can point to and say it’s time. So it isn’t about numbers. There are some things that can’t be denied though. Getting married by age has these statistics according to the National Center for Health Statistics;

The age of 20 puts your divorce rate at 27.6% on average
20-24………………………………………36.6%
25-29………………………………………16.4%
30-34……………………………………….8.5%

So we see that before the age of 25 it’s a risky proposition to get married. The reason is you haven’t yet come into your own yet. There are still changes to your personality going on. Think about it, at the age of 18 you became what society thinks is an adult. You finally reach an age where you are responsible for yourself but what does that mean? At the age of 18 most people still aren’t able to financially support themselves without some help from their parents so they aren’t truly their own person. This is the time to discover who you are as a stand alone person. At the age of 21 you no longer have the same perspective as you did at 18 and you by now are on your own and determining your course in life. There are still lots more questions than answers but at least goals are becoming more cemented in your life. At 25 you are a quarter of century. You’ve seen a few things, experienced a few things and know yourself a little better than you did before. You know what personalities work with yours and you are beginning to think about buying a home and settling into a career and making goals that are longer than just a few months.

For some people this process gets speeded up or slowed down by circumstances, God understands this. Love comes when it so desires. We need to walk in wisdom waiting for that time, but not manipulating it, to make it happen. As women we want so desperately to be in love but are we ready for it?

How do we awaken love before it’s so desires? We don’t practice modesty and we sexualize ourselves confusing love and sex is the main issue. I often see the girls in our youth group trying so desperately to be part of the crowd, wearing provocative clothing and too much makeup as they try to conform into what the world is telling them is sexy. Only to sexualize yourself is to sell yourself short. We attract the wrong person and in the wrong timing and order. We don’t wait for the man God chooses, but instead we pick the one who is good enough and we pray for the best. We don’t take the time to grow up.

If any of these shortcuts are taken, then what happens is, we awaken love before it’s time. When we do that love awakens as immature and ill-prepared to handle the ups and downs of life. Love can’t sustain itself. Think of an orchid, there is a way to flick the petals where they open pre-maturely, it’s beautiful but it also withers sooner than it would have if it had opened during a natural progression of time. Just as that orchid can’t be closed again, love can’t be put back to sleep once it’s aroused. God is crying out to his daughters in these passages that we need to wait for correct timing. Everything done in order and timing thrives. Love birthed in correct timing is lasting. God isn’t being a party pooper, instead he is saving you a hurt, pain and a broken heart. Take heed to what he is saying and let him guide you through the process of love.

I believe love is meant to be cultivated and not rushed into. There is a timing and tempo to love. It is a living thing like a plant and is capable of growing into a fruitful tree. Love is not blind it sees the truth but it is mature enough to forgive all wrongs. Nobody should rush into love but all should cultivate love with that special person and nurture it to maturity. So the bible says don't arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

BEWARE OF CONVENIENCE RELATIONSHIP:

Are you someone who moves from one unhappy relationship to another? Most likely that’s because you got into the relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationships and marriage are admirable goals for anyone to strive towards but there are many reasons why people may decide to engage in relationships for all the wrong reasons. Relationships should bloom from a mutual love and respect between two people and should not be influenced by outside parties, peer pressure or to fill a void in your life.  Before you jump into another relationship, look at these 10 red flags that might help you avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.

1. Convenience
Many times people get into relationships just because they find it convenient.  Maybe you found a man who always elects himself to drive you and your friends around.  Or maybe he has an awesome house and a beautiful pool that you and your friends can chill at whenever you want.  Possibly you’re friends are all matched up and you just want to fit in on their “couple getaways” and need a man to fill that void for you. It’s great to find a patient and loving man, but if you tend to use him for his “things” or bank account, don’t be shocked if he catches on to your game and leaves you up a creek, with no ride home.

2. Ageism
Society has conditioned us to believe that once we are over 30, we are past our prime and therefore we have passed our expiration date to be wanted and loved by another person.  Often women feel panic and anxiety set in during this time. Coupled with comments from friends and family about “not getting any younger” and you have the perfect ingredients for a wrong decision. Many times older relatives might put pressure on you to settle down by a certain age and create a timeline they feel you should follow. Relationships created for the sake of society, or to appease your family, or because of desperation absolutely do not stand the test of time and shouldn’t be entertained in the first place.

3. Rebound
It is a very common thing to get into relationships to avoid or forget problems. Victims of bad parenting or a history of abuse are often seen getting into such relationships as a means of escape. Many people often jump from relationship to relationship by embarking on a “rebound” before they give themselves time to heal from the hurt, pain, or loneliness from their previous relationship. Such bonds may bring passion, purpose and excitement in the short term, but fail to survive, as they are not based on love.

4. Missing Parent Replacement
As surprising as this sounds, there is a lot of truth to this. Many men particularly have been guilty of this scenario. There are men who have never lived alone for any period of time since they left their mothers home. On the flip side, some women who grew up without a stable father figure might be trying to fill this fraternal void in their life with a boyfriend.  Let’s be clear, parents and lover are very different and neither one can take the place of the other.  Keep your intentions clear on why you want a boyfriend in the first place, and if it’s so he can start the BBQ at dinner and help clean the yard, then maybe it’s a father you are on the hunt for, not a lover.

5. Boredom
This is probably the most dangerous reason why you would want to be in a relationship. There are so many things to do in life to make it more interesting and if you decide to choose a relationship in order to pass the time you will not end up with a life full of happiness. Relationships are about the giving of yourself and the other person giving to you. It is not a hobby to relieve boredom.  Don’t go find a boyfriend just so you have someone to take road trips with and eat lunch with at the park.  Maybe you should consider meeting new friends to fill your time, not a man.

6. Scared to be Alone
The fear of being alone is a societal conditioning that suggests that you should be been married with children by the age of 30. Often it is women who feel this burden as they move towards their 40s and beyond. With no relationship in sight, they envision that they will end up being a lonely cat lady. This thinking affects their selection process causing a sense of desperation to kick in. Invariably this leads to choosing the wrong man. The majority of those who get into a relationship for the wrong reasons fall into this category. Many people tend to feel worthless or lacking something when they are single or lonely, but jumping into a relationship to “solve” this will only turn into a huge regret later.

7. Influenced by Others
The approval of family and friends is reflected in the way we take their advice. In order not to look like the odd one out, we may listen to their suggestions and date someone that we had no intention of dating.  Long lasting and happy relationships start with a solid foundation. The foundation should be the reason that you have decided to embark on a relationship in the first place. A solid foundation will keep you grounded when the storms break out around your relationship. If your foundation is weak, then what you invested in may fall apart. Many times men and women get into relationships because of friends. Many people tend to think ‘Everyone else have someone, why not me?

8. Need of Physical Intimacy
For many people the motivation for relationship is sex or physical intimacy with a repeating partner. Desperation for sex can many times result in jumping into the sack with the wrong people and failing to connect on any level other than the bedroom.  Yes, physical attraction and intimacy is important in a relationship, but it should not be the basis for a relationship.  If this is your style, don’t expect the man of your dreams to end up from your weekend booty-call.  Chances are, men who are looking for this type of situation, is not looking for a relationship at all.

9. Wants a Challenge
Many times people try to win over others because they are unavailable and are intrigued by a challenge. Winning over a man could be considered a triumph to you and a prize you wont stop fighting for until you get it.  Unfortunately the reason that person might not have been available from the start is because they either are already in a relationship, or they just aren’t into you.  Not to say that a little bit of a challenge isn’t fun and exciting, but be sure you are fighting for an available and good guy.  You’d hate to end up with the “bad, hard to get guy” just to find out he’s just that, a bad guy.

10. Rushing may lead to a broken heart.
It takes time to build a healthy relationship, when you rush into something, you might as well rush out of it.

DON'T LET YOUR CHILDREN COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE:

To help you with this problem, the following article is an excerpt from the fun book, "Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love" written by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. and Kristine Carlson, published by Hyperion. This is a good little book. And although it isn’t a Christian book I have found it to be very enjoyable and clean with a lot of great information.:

Richard said, We love our children more than words can say—we adore them, want the best for them, and, to a large degree, have dedicated our lives to them. They make our lives complete and there is no question that they are our top priority.

Yet, we love each other too. A ton! And we don’t just say this—we mean it. We’re great pals and best friends. We love to spend time together—to share, laugh, love one another, be silly, hang out, or just be quiet. We’re partners.

We decided long ago that nothing—not even our children—would ever come between us. Furthermore, we realized, early on, that one of the most important messages we could give our children was to set an example as two parents who truly love and like each other; two people who prioritize one another and look forward to being together—even though we have a family to nurture and care for.

It appears to have worked really well. Both our children know how we feel about each other. They realize, on a deep level, that we have a mutual respect and admiration for each other, that we stick up for one another, agree on most fronts, and, most of all, that we love each other. There is no question in either of their minds.

In fact, it’s so clear to both of them that, when Saturday morning rolls around, one of them will usually say something like, “Where are you guys going tonight?” or “Who gets to baby sit us tonight?” They assume we are going to go somewhere together because they know it’s important to us—just as it’s important for them to spend time with their best friends. To them, it would seem bizarre if we didn’t.

Every set of parents is obviously different and will have different values and degrees of comfort where this issue is concerned. Our goal isn’t to get other parents to prioritize their lives as we have. Yet, for us, we are positive that we are doing the right thing, not only for our relationship, but for our kids as well. Our guess is that their expectations regarding their boyfriends and future husbands will be fairly high. Our hope is that they will eventually seek partners who value not only their children (if they have them), but their relationships as well.

We know many parents who, even years after having children, rarely go out alone—and a few who never have. It has always seemed to us that, even if you didn’t like each other very much and if your only goal was to send a good message to your children about relationships—then you’d prioritize your relationships, at least once in a while. Otherwise, it would seem, they would grow up believing a “normal” relationship neither requires nor deserves any time or effort the relationship would be seen as secondary, if not dispensable.

It’s been said millions of times before—but worth repeating one more time: If you want a loving relationship, you must prioritize it and treat it as important. The truth is, you vote with your actions. You can say, “My marriage is really important,” but your actions may be saying something entirely different. You may virtually never spend time alone with your spouse, or go out alone with her. Hardly the way you would behave if your goal was to appear loving.

After all, you spend time with the kids and as a family, and you spend time at work, doing chores, shopping for “stuff,” and in front of the television—so why not with your so-called loved one? Is that what you would hope for with your child—that he or she would grow up and never, ever spend time alone with their spouse, once they had children?

Finally, when you spend time together, even though you have children, you send a powerful message to one another that each of you matters, so does your relationship. It’s harder to sweat the small stuff with your partner when you both know that you are important to the other. So, however you do it, and to whatever degree, consider the importance of putting your relationship first. If you do, everyone wins.

SPIRITUAL MIDWIVES FOR HONOURABLE MEN: Part One

“The fire consumed their young men, and their maidens were not given in marriage”. Ps 78:63 NKJV

    

“Fire devoured their young men, and their young women had no marriage song”. Ps 78:63 ESV

    

“The young men died by fire, and the young women had no one to marry”. Ps 78:63 NCV

I am a Prophet of the Lord with a mandate to teach on Love and Marriage, and I pray that you will take heed to this timely message. During the process of writing this message I felt in a trance and God opened my eyes. I saw 75% of Ladies who mostly are between 28 to 40 years old, crying bitterly for God to send them Honourable Men. I look around the Church and saw only 10% of men who are godly and ready for marriage. I asked the Lord, why are there no honourable men? He responded, “Strange fires have devoured them”. Then He gave me the book of Psalm 78:63 “The fire consumed their young men, and their women died old without singing their wedding songs”. The honourable men have lost their spiritual capacity for life through the vices of satan and the daughters have no man to marry them.

MEN ARE CALLED TO WAR

What are these strange devouring fires? They are FORNICATION and WINE. The Lord revealed to me that Honourable Men are those that goes to war, destroyed the enemies, spared women and children, and come back with the spoils to receive a crown of honour. Men are trained to be warriors. Their duties are to fight the battle of life, avoid fornication and wine on the process. What they are aiming at is the Crown of Honour. But most of the men today are incapacitated to win the battle of life because of fornication and drinking of wine to stupor; they no more have strength. The Message Bible put it this way: Ps 78:63 “Their young men went to war and never came back; their young women waited in vain. Instead of sparing, men are using women as sex toy, then abandon them as single mothers or mislead them to commit abortion. Now, they are left alone without a wedding song.

In the book of Deut 21:10-11, it said that “When you go out to battle against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take them away captive, and see among the captives a beautiful woman, and have a desire for her and would take her as a wife for yourself”. The man must be a warrior who captures slaves after victory in battle. He must be a spiritual fighter, an intercessor, born again Christian who knows how to win souls for the kingdom of God. He is to SEE among the captured slaves (those that are born again) a beautiful woman whom he DESIRE and marry her. 

He has fought the battle of life and therefore entitles to get a beautiful wife whom he desire. Verses 11 to 13 of Deut. 21 says that the man should marry her, then bring her home to his house, and she shall remain in his house, and after that he will have sex with her and be her husband and she shall be his wife. Only HONOURABLE MEN dwell in their own house; boys stay in their father’s house. You are permitted to GO INTO HER only when you bring her HOME, to remain in your house. But men that are not honourable only take ladies to hotels or into their house just to have fun and then let them go without hope for marriage.

When satan entered Balaam and could not curse the warriors of Israel, he devised a means of weakening them. He sent the daughters of Moabites into their camp and when the men saw them, the book of Number 25:1 said “…the people began to commit harlotry with the women of Moab”. Just that single act of fornication led to the dead of twenty three thousand men. And what happen to the daughters of Israel who are waiting for the return of Honourable Men from the battle field to marry them? They waited in vain because the fire of fornication has destroyed their men.

King Solomon said out of experience, “Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent. Prov 6:27-29. Their coats of honor have been burned because of illicit sex and their feet that were designed to preach glad tidings have been seared. Devil has turned their hearts from being honourable to that of a beast. The Psalmist said, “A man who is in HONOR, yet does not understand, Is like the BEASTS that perish”. Ps 49:20. Because they have lost their honor, they now act like BEASTS. They misuse women mercilessly and even beat them. Two scriptures shed more light about these beastly men.

   

Prov 5:8-14 “Remove your way far from her, And do not go near the door (vagina) of her house (house of a prostitute), 9 Lest you give your HONORS to others, And your years to the cruel one (AIDs, HIV, devil, death); 10 Lest aliens (another man who may marry her later) be filled with your wealth, And your labours (all the money you spend on her) go to the house of a foreigner; 11 And you mourn at last, When your flesh and your body are consumed, 12 And say: "How I have hated instruction, And my heart despised correction! 13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me! 14 I was on the verge of total ruin, In the midst of the assembly and congregation (Church and believers)." NKJV

Prov 31:2-5 “What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows (Covenant of Motherhood)? 3 Do not give your strength to women (have sex with different women), Nor your ways to that which destroys kings. 4……It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink; 5 Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted (take advantage of poor women and abuse them). NKJV

Let’s look at the characteristics of the beasts:

In the kingdom of darkest, there are four manipulations that devil used against men. These manipulations are called, “Animal Propensities”, which are – Food, Fight, Sex and Sleep. And these are the nature of animals. The hearts of so many men today are held captive by satan through these animal propensities. All they can think is to eat and drink, fight, have sex and then sleep. They have no regard for the things of God, no vision for tomorrow and no desire for marriage because there are plenty girls out there who are willing to offer themselves FREELY as sex objects. Some ladies even volunteered to stay with them before marriage and hoping that someday they will marry them. If he has free sex with you or with different type of women out there, what makes you think he will like to settle down with one woman all the days of his life?

This message continue in part two.