IS SEX SWEET OR PAINFUL?

Sex alone cannot forge a permanent relationship. A woman’s sexual response depends upon her having feeling of intimacy, closeness and dependability, and upon her husband’s ability to identify with her, and how much confidence she had in him.

Rare are the husband and wife who have not at times bounce unhappily over rocks in the road to marital lovemaking. It is an enigma that something so enjoyable should be the source of so much tension and conflict, yet many testify that it is, and we are among them. It would be good for you to hear this story from Mary’s vantagepoint.

THE STORY OF MARY SEXUAL LIFE

“ Before we married, I was convinced that I was going to enjoy sex immensely. I would never tire of it. Maybe other couples would struggle in this area, but not us. Sex would be no problem for us! It took no longer than the first night of our honeymoon to discover that I was wrong.

The first hurdle for me was that I was unable to consummate the sexual act immediately because of fear. Feelings of failure, frustration and hurt welled up within me, expressed outwardly by tears. Richard was patient, loving and gentle with me and within a few days we were able to say, ‘yes, we are truly one’. It was a rough beginning, but now that it was behind us everything was going to be all right - I thought.

However, to my amazement I found that I could tire of sex quite easily, that often I just wanted to be held and kissed without having sex. I also found that my young husband never got tired of sex. At least that is the way it appeared to me. There were times when I thought I had married an animal, that no other man wanted sex as much as he did. I used to tell him that if se were right and good, then God make me want it as much as much as he did. And since I didn’t want it that much, it must not be what God desired. That sounded so very logical to me. It was another stress point in a stress filled relationship.

I have since discovered that while some women desire sex more than their husbands, the majority feel much as I do, and their husbands much as Richard does. He turned out to be a perfect normal man after all. But no one had instructed us about the differences between men and women before we married, and so we kept mudding along as best we could. Nevertheless, I knew sex was part of God’s plan for marriage and an important part of a healthy marital relationship, and I knew I had to find a way to work through my problem.

One thing that helped me was for Richard to tell me about his need of sexual intercourse, to explain to me his desire for my body, to show me in the scripture God’s viewpoint on sex. God actually instituted it all the way back in the Garden of Eden. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” Gen. 2 v 24-25.

Solomon said, “let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love”. Prov. 5 v 18-19. The Apostle Paul put it like this: “let the husband fulfil his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control”. 1 Cor. 7 v 3-5.

This writer to the Hebrew added this note: “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the married bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge”. Heb. 13 v4.

I did some serious thinking about these passages in God’s Word and became convinced that sex was good created by God even before Adam and Eve sinned, that it was perfectly proper for a husband to desire his wife’s body, that our bodies actually did belong to each other. I realised that I had to set my mind on doing what I knew was right. It would be an act of obedience. I had to consider my husband and his needs before my own feelings. That is what the Lord wanted me to do. It occurred to me that I could be thankful for a husband who was willing to share his needs and desires with me, and who would help me work through some of my inhibitions with gentleness and understanding.

I have come to see that the choices I make in this area of life are extremely important. I can choose to turn my husband down, which carries with it the danger of making him feel rejected, or I can choose to accept his love willingly and respond positively to a kiss or a hug, even it at that moment I do not feel life doing so.

There have been times when I have hesitated to respond positively because I thought it would mean we had to jump right into bed. When I explained that to Richard, he understood and he endeavoured to show me in a variety of ways that I was not just a sexual object, but that I was important to him as a person. He also tried to be more sensitive to my feelings and desired before approaching me sexually.

However, as hard as he has tried, the whole issue of our sexual relationship continues to be learning and growing experience for me. There are still times when I have problems. But I start at the beginning again and remind myself that sex is good, that it comes from the Lord, that it is pleasing to Him for me to give my body to my husband, that I have a choice to make and that no one else can make it for me, but that the Lord will help me fulfil my responsibility as a wife when I step out by faith and obey him.

Moreover, I have made a surprising discovery. When I respond, as I know the Lord desires, I usually find myself enjoying sex far more than I do thought I would. Seeing God work in this way has been a fulfilling adventure, I have also discovered that sex benefits me physically. When I am uptight, it relieves the pressure I am experiencing. And sometimes it actually relieves the headaches. The excuse, I have a headache’ has long since disappeared from our house. Now if I say that I have a headache, Richard knows that I am suggesting that I want to make love.”

That is a summary of our story about sex through Mary’s eyes. It has not been particularly easy for her to tell it. However, we tell it for one reason only, and that is, to encourage others who may be facing similar difficulties.

WALKING TOGETHER

Sexuality has its origin from God. Nevertheless, Satan turns it to sensuality only. He is making it appear acceptable, to glorify union without responsibility. God says, it is for unity, commitment and reproduction, Satan says, it is only for pleasure.

I would like to add a few comments from where I stand. I think my sexual expectation in marriage were much too high because of some literature I read from the world’s distorted perspective before I was married.

Men who consume the world’s “fantasy” view of sex expect their wives to perform as the women in that unrealistic world and they seldom do. When we stay with God’s perspective and unselfishly seek to minister to our partner’s sexual needs in ways that please them, rather than expect them to pleasure us in ways that they may find offensive, we will find ourselves enjoying true sexual fulfilment.

That is not to say that variety and experimentation in lovemaking are wrong. But it is to say that endeavouring to please our mates above us results in sex at its best. That is what we are discovering.

God created sex and He said it was good. If it is still a problem in your marriage, spend a quiet evening together talking about our sexual needs and desires, being careful to maintain open and understanding spirit.

I wish you Sex Without Tears!

Culled from the book "The Perfumed Garden" by Samuel McDimar
Order a copy - mcdimar3@gmail.com

Aggressive & Responding Love in Marriage

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get,

it’s what you are expected to give, which is everything”.

Anonymous

The Christian marriage is a reflection of God’s love and glory on planet earth. But why are marriages breaking down at an alarming rate? Why something that was instituted and blessed by God becoming a source of calamity instead of peace and joy? The root cause can be traced to lack of total submission to God. You cannot love and cleave unto a woman without first of all cleaving and loving the Lord. The same principle applied to the woman. She cannot submit to a man without being submissive to God first.

For marriage to be truly intimate and fulfilling, it must be in subjection to God first, before adjustment can be possible. Through metabolized Doctrine in their souls, husband and wife can render aggressive and responding love toward God.

From a biblical study of marriage, we learn that there are two categories of agape love. First, there is aggressive love of enduring devotion. Second, there is responding love of respect. Both categories were operational in the humanity of Jesus Christ when He hung on the cross as a substitute for every human who would ever live throughout human history.

These same two categories of agape love are potential to every believer. They are made available from the moment of salvation. They become operational in the life of every Church Age believer when he/she chooses to execute the unique spiritual life associated with the Church Age. At the moment of salvation, every believer, whether male or female, enters into a personal relationship with God the Father. Associated with personal relationship is "personal responsibility," and personal responsibility is predicated upon every born-again Christian, both male and female. This means that each born-again believer is personally responsible to execute the unique spiritual life associated with the Church Age.

In their "personal responsibility" as members of the Body of Christ, both husband and wife should manifest aggressive love of enduring devotion and responding love of respect toward God as manifestations of their equal privilege and equal opportunity; however, in their "corporate responsibility" as marriage partners, only one category is mandated for each marriage partner as a manifestation of their corporate relationship. The aggressive love of enduring devotion is mandated of the husband toward his wife, and the responding love of respect is mandated of the wife toward her husband.

EQUAL PRIVILEGE AND OPPORTUNITY

At the moment of salvation, the very nature of God the Father's plan is to provide equal privilege and equal opportunity for every Church Age believer, both male and female. And how do they have equal privilege and equal opportunity? Each are equally privileged to have received the same number of irrevocable divine operating assets at the moment of salvation, and each have equal opportunity to execute the unique spiritual life associated with the Church Age.

The husband is mandated to have aggressive love toward his wife in the sense that he is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself as a substitute for her. This is enduring devotion and it includes intensive love. This intensive love has a response from the wife's love. True love is always in the soul. True love comes in two categories: enduring devotion and enduring respect.

The divine mandated to “love his wife as Christ loved the church” is the husband’s role of aggressive love in marriage. (Ephesians 5:25). He initiates an enduring devotion that elevates his wife above every other human relationship. Loyalty and consecration from virtue in his soul characterize such intensive love. He exercises thoughtful leadership in the home, honoring the freedom of his wife.

The divine mandate to respect her husband “as unto the Lord” is the wife’s role of responding love in the marriage. (Ephesians 5:33). She honors and submits to his leadership in trust and admiration. She gives deference to his wills, judgement, and opinions. His dedication results in unequivocal esteem and partiality from her. In her thoughts and actions, her husband is given consideration beyond all other men, making him first on her scale of values; however, many of today's wives look for other options because they have no love for God.

In fact, a responding woman is a sweet smell of success. This is responding love, and she was actually created as "Isha," the responder. Adam was created as “Ish,” the one who is aggressive. Without this knowledge, we would not know that agape love actually comes in two categories, even though it is one word that describes it (agape).

Since God is eternal and immutable, His love is unchanging and enduring. Both the quality and the quantity remain the same from eternity – Jer. 31 v 3. Now those who appropriate His grace in salvation cannot be separated from His love. No matter how marriage fails, the love of God will sustain it.

Love in Marriage

The Husband, the Aggressor = The Wife, the Responder.

He begins with enduring devotion toward her = She responds with respect toward him.

His enduring devotion is intensive love toward her = Her respect is deference and admiration toward him

He has enduring loyalty toward her = She responds with honor toward him.

He consecrates himself to her = She answers with esteem toward him

He dedicates himself to her = She answers with consideration and partiality toward him.

The moment we are born-again there is the potential in our soul for "enduring devotion" and " enduring respect," the two categories of love to be used in marriage, but they will not function in marriage unless there is first of all "enduring devotion" and "respect" for God the Father. Every believer has the same potential for "enduring devotion" and "respect" for God.

Until "enduring devotion" and "respect" for God become a reality in the life of the husband who is a Church Age believer, that Christian husband cannot execute the mandate found in Ephesians 5:25.

There is no greater demonstration of love for God the Father than in the fulfillment of the mandate that God the Father has given to the believing husband in marriage.

LOVE AND RESPECT

The responsibilities for manifesting aggressive love and responding love are separated in Christian marriage because of the specific responsibility assigned by God the Father to the Christian husband and Christian wife toward each other.

Both the Christian husband and the Christian wife possess aggressive love and responding love from the moment of salvation. If the wife does not first manifest aggressive love toward God, she will never manifest respect toward her husband. The husband must have enduring devotion for God the Father, otherwise, he will never fulfill his mandate to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and gave Himself as a substitute for her. Without this component, their spiritual life and marriage will succumb to bitterness, anger, and malice. Only true soul-love can express the kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness between husband and wife, and activate the “Grace of Life” to enable them cohabit together for eternity.

There is no true love in the soul of a believer for the spouse unless there is first of all true love in the soul for God. There is no way that a wife is ever going to respect her husband that she cannot stand unless she first has respect for God.

Suppose a wife becomes disillusioned with her husband, and because of her disillusion she engages in a relationship with another man. Why does she do it? She does it because the other man is more important to her than was God. She does it because she has no "staying power" in the marriage. Suppose a husband becomes disillusioned with his wife, and because of his disillusion he engages in a relationship with another woman. Why does he do it? He does it because the other woman is more important to him than was God. He does it because he has no "staying power" in the marriage.

The word ‘love’, Greek Agape, is defined as “exercise of the will drawn out of the divine nature of God; affectionate devotion”. In addition, the word ‘Respect’, Greek Meros, means “to look away from all else at one object; to reference; to pay attention to; relate to or be concerned with”. Love and respect are the product of soul-coalescence. A soul love of this caliber is related to integrity. This dynamic of true love in the soul is phenomenal and is not to be confused with the silliness and nonsense that is called "love," today.

Whenever the husband is aggressive, it is expected that the wife respond immediately. The ground in which she responded, she had the same love as equivalent. She respects and honors him. And as a weaker vessel (1 Pet. 3 v 7), the husband honor and demonstrate enduring loyalty. He do not forces his way into her but recognize her volition. This is the highest love a man can show unto his wife, recognizing her emotion and volition. The man that understands his wife’s volition exercises enduring love and devotion until she pleases. Her submission is beautiful. She becomes everything to the man. A man that does not recognize the woman’s volition only have interest in her body. And the more he concentrates on her body, the more he begins to lose the value of her body. The secret to any woman’s body is her volition. So, we have a reciprocal honor whenever the wife submits out of her volition.

The reciprocal honor of the husband starts with his enduring loyalty, but the honor that the wife render is a response to that. And that changes a woman. She is not fooling herself with any one in town, but committed, and occupies with the thought of her Right Man. He is the only icon in her spirit, therefore, she concentrate more on him and less on been accepted here and there, socially and in other ways by men. This is the new revolutionary dimension of the 21st century marriages.

THE ACT OF RESPONDING

True love only exists in the soul realm and not in the body. The body is only the extension of true love when it comes from the soul.

Now, here is the soul correlation of the husband and wife. When this is in place, sex will no longer be a problem. Where it exist, the correlation of bodies through sex will be fantastic, in fact, a holiday trip to the Garden of Eden. Every time it occurs, it becomes a phenomenal thing.

According to medical research, there are hormones in both male and female that stimulates the development of sex characteristic. Men have an abundance of testosterone raging through their bodies that males them Aggressive. Testosterone is a hormone produced by the testes, responsible for the development and maintenance of Secondary Sexual Characteristics; the most potent of the naturally produced androgens, it is produced in the Leydig’s cells under control of Luteinizing (interstitial cell stimulating) hormone.

Women on the other hands are ruled by estrogen, which makes them Receptive. Estrogen is general term for the female sex hormones, responsible for stimulating the development and maintenance of female Secondary Sex Characteristics; formed in the ovary.

Testosterone and estrogen monitor internal or external conditions and react or respond, to changes in accordance with the needs of our body. Husbands and wives have this inbuilt capacity to respond specifically to internal and external stimulation.

The way of a man and his maid proved the existence of aggressive love in the husband’s part and responding love in the wife’s part. Her response is a virtue that comes from the soul. The Canticle shades more prophetic insight on the life style of husband and wife.

“Thou hast RAVISHED my heart, my Sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck”. S/S. 4 v 9.

The word ‘ravished’ means, “to intoxicate, encompass, embrace and satisfy the need of one another”. The wife’s duty during love-play is to intoxicate her Right Man as he fondles with her breast and other parts of her body. Systematically, she responds with a blinking of the eyes, soft murmuring, encouraging noise, sounds of pleasure, gasping and shivering. This is the portrait of a responding woman, when she has what seems like an epileptic episode and her entire body is one big nerve hypersensitive to the slightest touch or breath. She responds with great admiration whenever he touches her. But unfortunate, some women are as ice block.

Stimulation is all in the brain. Yes, the brain is the biggest sex organ. It is the center for all human behaviors, including sex. There are chemicals in the brain that play a role in sex. These chemicals are dopamine, opiate serotonin and oxytocin. These brain chemicals play a role in the woman’s attraction to the man’s cologne, his face, muscle and touch. The brain is the organ that zeroes in on him not the genitals.

According to Proverb 5 v 19-20, she satisfies him with her breast at all time. That is a responding woman. The word ‘Respond’ can be define as “showing sensitivity by your behavior or attitude; a corresponding action; a performing of answer”. This is what describes the function and responsibility of the Right Woman to keep her marriage ablaze. She does not wait until he asks for sex, she responds by displaying her breast before him, ravishing his heart. As a responder, she is very sensitive to his needs and desires. S/S. 1 v 13; 2 v 3-6.

AN ENDURING DEVOTION

The husband initiates an enduring devotion in the marriage. Devotion is define as “an enthusiastic addiction or loyalty to something; a divine worship”. The husband is to have this component in his leadership. This was used in the spiritual life of worship to God, and now uses in a different sense. The woman in turns developed and expresses enduring submission and respect to his leadership just the way she portrayed it in the worship of God.

A further definition of respect is to fear with a touch of awe. The combination of fear and awe develops the highest form of responding love that a woman can have for a man. This respect is deduced from the husband’s enduring devotion.

The problem with people is that they don’t understand that marriage is designed to take any man and make a leader out of him. A woman is not to marry a man, no matter how attractive he may be, unless he is a leader. How will you know that? He must demonstrate aggressive love and enduring devotion towards God and secondly, towards you that arouses your deference and admiration for him. Warning! Do not confuse aggressive love with infatuation. Infatuation is a wild and foolish love that last only for a short time. When you develop an infatuation for someone, you always find a reason to believe that is exactly the right person for you. It does not need to be a good reason. In the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you have been searching for all these years. Aggressive love is the outcome of the soul and not emotional.

Nobody can make it in marriage if the foundation is built only on emotion (Sex, romance, beauty etc) without the components that revealed a correlation of soul. Sex is but one of the many satisfactions in married life, but unless there is, soul-love, nothing else can be right and long lasting.

Finally, if a husband or wife is not executing his or her spiritual life, they have no staying power in marriage. They have missed the greatest dynamic of all human history, that fantastic love, that staying power manifested by Jesus Christ on the cross.



MARRIAGE IN CRISIS

“Marriage is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.”

By Samuel McDimar

Marriage is the single most important relationship in this life apart from our relationship with God. The Lord gave marriage to the human race as a demonstration of His Divine Love. The grace of this institution reveals His essence in giving to mankind a home for love and intimacy - a place where two people can have a unique love that is beyond belief and human endeavors.

Marriage is God's gift to humanity. The Lord Himself personally oversees marriage. He makes Right Man and Right Woman; then brings them together miraculously; and gives them an intimate love relationship - all compliments of His eternal, infinite, and matchless grace.

For marriage to be understood, it must be studied from the grace perspective. Divine Grace covers the whole concept of God's Plan in ministry and marriage. It includes Spiritual Dynamics in marriage, behavioral models, and new objectives for spiritual adulthood.

Here is the great object lesson of marriage grace from divine viewpoint. The source is the authority of scripture - Bible Doctrine. Marriage Grace, based upon the study of Bible Doctrine, explains more about life outside the Garden of Eden than any other conceptual model. This is the heretofore-untold story of the Mystery Doctrine of the Church Age. We must get the setting of this scene in order to obtain something of its real effect.

Marriage can be the most happy, or mediocre or unhappy experience of all life if it is void of God’s Divine Grace. He designed the opposite sexes, to be joined in marriage and complement each other so they might each give to the other what each one lacked.

At this early stage, I want to pinpoint two fragments of scripture upon which we shall move at present. The first is found in the Old Testament in the first Book of Chronicles, chapter twelve at verse 32… men of Issachar, who understood the TIMES and knew what Israel should do…” The other scripture is in the New Testament in first Corinthians, chapter seven at verses 28-29: “But if you marry, you have not sinned… but those who marry will face many TROUBLES IN THIS LIFE, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers is that the TIME is SHORT, from now on those who have wives should live as if they had none.”

You will notice that these scriptures and their context are set in a time of crisis and change, very significant change.

In the letter to the Corinthians, the reference to the end of certain times represents a tremendous crisis called “Trouble in this life.” That is what is before us now: the trouble of marriage.

It is vitally important for us to know the nature of times in which we live and what we must do to negate inaccurate system and shift progressively to the next level. The supremest thing is to have understanding of the times and season, to know what to do in order to restructure our marriages. I think you will agree with me that this is very vital.

A FIERCE ATTACK

Marriage is in a state of dilemma, shuffling from one crisis to the other. The word “trouble” in 1 Cor. 7 : 28, Greek thlipsin is rendered “persecution.” Apostle Paul is obviously saying that those who are married will be under fierce attack by the carnal natures of each partner and Satan’s manipulation.

Though myriads of books have been published yearly on how to make marriage work, our culture is flirting away from God’s original protocol plan. Moreover, the actual concern of this age is not really how to have better marriages but how to have better divorce without breaking the heart of your partner.

Unfortunately, what is happening in the secular world has crept privately into Christendom. And the rate of divorce now made in secret outnumbered the one made in public. This is as the result of ever- increasing breakdown of moral standards with marriage being the prime target of Satan as recorded in 1Tim. 4:1-3.

Unfortunately, a depressing number of marriages end on a less inspirational note. Indeed, our global world is now witnessing a continuing epidemic of dysfunctional relationships. The very foundation of marriage institution itself appears to be dying. I shudder to contemplate what life will be like and how will our children cope up in the next generation if Jesus tarry.

Lydia Maria Child believes that the cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word ‘love’. It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life. The need of all of us is true love and we must cultivate the habit of accepting and giving out love if we desire to see our relationship last for a life time. It has nothing to do with what we are expecting to get at all time, which is everything.

MARRIAGE DECLINATION

Marital breakdown is always a tragedy, says Swihart and Brigham in their book “Helping children of divorce,” it contradicts God’s will, frustrates His purpose, brings to husband and wife the acute pains of alienation, disillusion, recrimination, and guilt, and precipitates in any children of the marriage a crisis of bewilderment, insecurity and often anger.

The whole issue is bound up in this. A spiritual focus on the reality of marriage relationship will lead to contentment and forbearance in all areas of life, including affairs of the heart.

In every age of our 6,000 years old planet, marriage has been one of the thermometers of the world’s spiritual fervor or coldness. What the enemy is targeting is spiritual fullness and progress of every believer. Satan is using marital conflict as his basic tools to invigorate setback and declination of God’s people and even of a whole nation. You will agree with me that the decline of marriage loyalties is what has plunged the world into corruption, poverty and unending misery. In part, the corruption of this divine institution brought on the condemning worldwide flood in Genesis chapter 7.

The divorce rate is now an epidemic! The statistical summaries of Marriage and Divorce reveal serious problems with the institution of marriage in the world today. The Marriage statistics show that although the total number of marriages has increased, since 1960 the marriage rate for unmarried women has decreased at a steady rate. The Divorce Statistics show that divorce has risen significantly so that the ratio of marriages to divorces is now 2 to 1.

The War II generation 1940-1960 celebrated their freedom by getting married. The peak number of marriages in 1946 set the record on the charts. That generation became materialistic, grew rich, established bureaucracies and became authoritarian. They were distracted by business expansion of the post war boom. They failed as parents.

The generations from 1960-1980 set all records for steady rising divorces. Their marriages ended in the divorce courts. This was the generation women entered the work place. Adultery (mental and overt) was the result. Women rejected the authority of their husbands. Unlike their parents who just quarreled, they divorced the men.

The generation from 1980 to present is hardened and insensitive. They are the children of divorce. They have grandparents with traditional values and parents who were adulterers. They tend to be stubborn, hardened, and insensitive. They are antimarriage.

Our culture is in very serious jeopardy. This is not a case of patriotism. Although the nation will suffer, it is worse than that. Yes, it involves everyone. There is no escape from this one. This problem strikes at the very heart and soul of our culture, and not just in Africa because other nations also have the same problem.

Marriage and the Right Man/Right Woman relationship is the most intimate relationship in this life. It is more powerful than the relationship between parents and children (when the child grows up). It begins in the very genes, since it is divine design. It infiltrates the very core of the soul and heart. It reaches the most intimate fiber of one's being. How one feels pales in comparison to who he is; and this relationship is all about whom one is.

When divorce rips apart a marriage, it is like pulling a tooth that has roots that go all the way down to the big toe! This is the reason for the strong Biblical mandate by the Lord Jesus Christ: “Consequently, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore, God has joined together, let no man separate”. Matthew 19:6

Divorce is very serious business. It affects the very core of one's being and shatters the very nature of who we are! Divorce is like separating Siamese twins. One or both are liable to die. No one goes through a divorce without psychological trauma. Some suppress, deny, internalize while others react, dissociate, and project; but all have serious trouble.

When marriage is well observed, respected and maintained, the world prospers. A good marriage makes all else in life better, while a poor marriage somehow diminish it. The late Dr. M. R. Deha’an quipped, “The nearest thing to heaven on this earth is the Christian family and home where husband and wife, and children live in love and peace together for the Lord and for each other. And the nearest thing to hell on earth is an ungodly home, broken by sin and iniquity, where parents nag and separate, and children are abandoned to the devil and all the forces of wickedness.”

For all of us who are married, divorce or otherwise, we have a responsibility. Our marriage says to the world and to our children, “Here is a picture of Jesus Christ and His church”. Your partner may be as unlovable to you as we are to God, apart from Christ. He or she may be unfaithful, unappreciative, unresponding. Your task as a husband is to assume the role of a savior in your marriage. The greater the abuse, the greater the love to evade unresolved crisis that may lead to divorce. God did not promise us a perfect marriage, not even a happy one. He did promise us more grace than we should ever need. He calls us to show to the world that Jesus loves and loves and loves even when the object of His love is unlovable.

THE NEED FOR PARTNERSHIP

Right at the beginning of history, we are told that God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone”, Gen. 2v18. This word seems to give us the divine authority for marriage. You cannot be ‘alone’ and still be completely happy. When a man is alone [not married], he lacks intimate relationship, refinement, tenderness, and certain basic skills for success in life. Likewise an unmarried woman, lacks intimate counselor, leadership strength, and other benefits.

In marriage, the other supplies the basic need of the other partner. That is how God intended it to be. He designated marriage for the happiness of humanity, as a channel for expressing love in an intimate manner. It was when God could not found a suitable helper for man in the world greatest zoo (Eden) that Eve was made from one of his ribs. We can now trace the side-by-side partnership between man and woman on this account of human creation.

Marriage was established before man’s fall into sin and before any human institution, endeavors and civilization. This reveals the sanctity of the union of husband and wife as a permanent bond and the foundation of human society.

God saw a desperate need in Adam and provides a suitable wife for him, who will help him in his “Garden of Eden ministry”.

The word ‘suitable’ means “that which fit; that which is right for the purpose, that which meet the need of.” This definition tells us that only Eve fit Adam. She is the Right Woman for his ministry and life. What God did to the first man, He has continued doing ever since for every son of Adam. What does it mean that Eve was a suitable “ HELPER”? This word carried the connotation of “helping another to find fulfillment in life.” A good scholar, Adam Clarke wrote a commentary on the meaning of help meet, he said, “----- a help, a counterpart of him self, one formed from him. If the word were rendered scrupulously literally, it signifies one ‘like,’ or as ‘himself’ standing opposite to or before him. To be a perfect resemblance of the man, possessing neither inferiority nor superiority, but being in all things like and equal to him self.” This is what defines true biblical marriage.

CLOSE TO THE HEART

So often in the throes of marital turmoil, we forget that marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts to human beings. He understood our need for intimate connection long before any of us came to be. In this consideration of man’s nature and needs for companionship, in response, He made a woman to resolve the issue of intimacy, loneliness and separation.

Why is it that married couples are so puzzled by one another’s reaction at times? They know that they themselves are often upset, angry or hurt at something the other one has done, but they cannot dictate the reason. It is of course because the other person has violated a basic drive, which God himself has built in them. Whenever you find married couples that are unhappily married, you can be sure there is guilt somewhere hiding beneath the surface. After the first matrimonial bliss, you will begin to lose some of the glittering in your eyes and start seeing your partner’s weaknesses. You might ever discover habits and personally traits that may irritate or grieve you. However, the point to consider is, if we truly love our partners, we should continually be blind to their weakness and shortcomings.

The woman for Adam was made from existing elements similar to Adam’s creation. The existing elements came from Adam – namely, one of his ribs. This meant the same DNA, cell structure, blood type. Biologically, woman was the same as man.

“So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, He took one of his ribs, and closed up with flesh its place”. Gen. 2 v 21
The Lord Jesus Christ, the “great physician,” performed surgery on Adam. He put him to sleep, and removed a rib. He chose to make the woman from the man.

“And the Lord God built into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” Gen. 2 v 22

From the rib, the Lord “built” the woman. The Hebrew word, ‘built’, is banah, which means to build, to construct. The meaning is that the woman was built. She was a beautiful creature, built from Adam for Adam. Adam had simply being sculpted (Hebrew “jatsar”) from clay; but the woman was built. The architecture, symmetry, and beauty were the crowning glory of all creation.

Ribs are the bones nearest the heart, and are thus closely linked with the heart. In this, woman is designed to complete the man; to be a helper fit for him. The significant aspect of the rib is that it emphasizes the protective instinct in woman. It is the rib that protects the vital organ of the chest and notable the heart. In fact, the Hebrew word for helper, “Azar,” means, “to surround with aid, to protect, to encompass.”

Just as the rib cage or protect the heart, so a woman is to surround, and protect her husband’s heart from intruders. Jer. 31 v 22. Any deliberate mistake can cause heartbreak; can damage the internal configuration of his heart and his capacity to trust and love. Do not let a different woman sit upon the center of his heart. Intoxicate and protect him.

I pray that every woman will try to make a spiritual boundary around their husband’s heart from the snare of other strange women. When his heart is right, is glad, you can get the best from him. According to the word of Theodore Roosevelt, “the royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most”.

Culled from the book "Aggressive & Responding Love in Marriage" writen by Samuel McDimar.
Order a copy - mcdimar3@gmail.com

IS DIVORCE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOU?

When you have decided to get married that day, you hope your marriage is a happy and blissful one. Divorce is something that you never thought of going through. As you are through the bad times in your marriage now, you thought of having a divorce to end everything. However, divorce will not just end the problems like this. This decision is not going to affect just yourself; it will also change the life of your children, family, spouse or maybe even affect the relationship with your friends. Is divorce going to be the right choice for you?

When the moment you took your vows, you only see the best in your marriage. However, many unrealistic expectations appeared through the marriage. You start to think why it wasn't like this when you first got married and also think if it is mistake to marry your spouse. When things are turning rocky in your marriage, a fight will also make you ponder if divorce is the right choice because you simply just could not accept the imperfection in your spouse.

The true love in a marriage is to also share wealth and woes together. Nobody is perfect but if you learn to appreciate the imperfections, Imperfections can also be beautiful. Couples whom cannot accept or adapt to the changes in their life after marriage will begin to think of divorce as a choice.

Most problems found in marriage can be solved easily. The common problems such as infidelity, behaviors, communication, family, etc are always the reasons to divorce but you do not necessarily need to divorce when you are facing such problems. Unless, you are facing abusive problems from your spouse constantly, then the best solution is to stay away from him.

I do not know how serious or interested you are to win back this marriage but if you have the slightest thought to try this marriage again, then you should work and change the situation in your marriage. Even if you are the only party who is interested to save this marriage, it is still very possible to work it out again as long as you are willing to change and do things differently.

You should not see divorce as a quick fix to problems and a good marriage comes with a right formula to do it. When you are able to understand the problems, you should be able to save your marriage with the right formulas.

I hope you can seriously think if divorce is the right choice for you. If all efforts to save the marriage fail, what else can you do? Log on to http://www.divorceright.webs.com/ for Biblical truth about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.

The Wailing Woman Win (1)

INTRODUCTION
By Deborah Amos Ringson

The Church has been lullabied to sleep by a cold, dead and apostate leadership. Not knowing the purpose for the Church and the strategic position it occupies in the plan of God for the nation, this sleeping giant (the Believers) has lost its effectiveness and its place of influence.


In the pages of this article, you will discover God’s master plan to use women in the end time as His battle axe. All that this continent - Africa has passed through and what it is presently going through are part of God’s shaking in His agenda to bring it to the realization of its purpose.

One of the reasons why God left us here on earth for a season is to invade and make decrees that will cause Satan to bow in every department of the nation and that the Kingdom of God will reign supreme.

The scripture says, “Thou shalt also Decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and the light shall shine upon thy ways”, Job 22: 28. It is time we stop singing or wishing it. This is the hour and the moment to act! It is time for the Church to wake up from her slumber and take charge of situations and circumstances and “every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of the most high God”.

The major universal icon in the Spirit now is “wailing in all vineyards”. The cry for global intercession has come from heaven to the earth, and all who have ears let them hear what the Spirit is saying to the Church – “…my house shall be call the house of prayers for all nations”. The people of Nineveh heard it and started reforming according to the principles, pattern and purpose of God. Queen Esther heard it and led the people into global prayers and fasting that changed the enemies plan. The Church has heard the cry, and we are partnering with the Holy Spirit for the “Gathering of Women Intercessors”. There is a deadly race for the finish as we approach the final conflict.

As the world and part of the Church move increasingly to lawlessness, God is calling on all women to diametrically move toward order, internal self-government and total rulership of Christ Jesus.

“…for many will come in my name, saying I am Christ, and will deceive many…And because lawlessness shall abound, the love of many will grow cold…”.

Math. 24: 3-14 (NKJV)

There are two main things I would like to highlight – Deception and Lawlessness. These are the two greatest enemies of advancement in the purposes of God in our day. Deception could be internal or external.

• Inner or internal deception would make a called believer to enter into Jeroboamic operations that led the entire people of God to prostitute themselves with idols and were eventually judged – 1Kings 12: 1 – end.

• External deception consists of all operations around us that look like God, smell like God, talk like God, but is not God.

Lawlessness is from the Greek word “anomia”, which means iniquity, unrighteousness, refusal to be governed or control.

In the midst of deception and lawlessness, only the wailing woman win and it will take her victory to awake the sleeping giant. I believe it is time for women to come together and pray. Most people of faith know that prayer changes things, but when do we actually spend time to prayer? Our lives are so busy we get up and from the time we open our eyes until we close them to sleep, we are in a hurry.

We tend to put prayer on the back burner. Most of our Churches have some time devoted to prayers, but generally there are only a few people who attend prayer services. I recently met a woman during a Church service that came up to pray. Instead of the quick minute most of us devote to prayer during our worship service, the woman prayed for over an hour. We both agreed most people would have walked out if someone prayed that long during service.

Ask yourself…would you have walked out or would you join in to pray for the extended time?

We need to pray more folks, we need to pray and seek God’s face because this world needs it terribly.

When was the last time you cried out to the Lord to help your family live in a way that is pleasing to Him? What about your husband and loved ones? God is calling again for intercessors. We are sending for wailing women that they may come! This movement is essentially a clarion call to prayer. It is the Lord Himself raising a global women intercessor.

“How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? For the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall incompass a man” Jer. 31: 22

WOMEN ON THE FRONTLINE

“Rise up, ye women that are at ease; hear my voice, ye careless daughters; give ear unto my speech. Many days and years shall ye be troubled, ye careless women: for the vintage shall fail, the gathering shall not come. Tremble, ye women that are at ease; be troubled, ye careless ones: strip you, and make you bare, and gird sackcloth upon your loins.

They shall lament for the teats, for the pleasant fields, for the fruitful vine.

Upon the land of my people shall come up thorns and briers; yea, upon all the houses of joy in the joyous city: because the palaces shall be forsaken; the multitude of the city shall be left; the forts and towers shall be for dens for ever, a joy of wild asses, a pasture of flocks; Until the spirit be poured upon us from on high, and the wilderness be a fruitful field, and the fruitful field be counted for a forest. Then judgment shall dwell in the wilderness, and righteousness remains in the fruitful field. And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places”

Is. 32: 9-18

=Because women are at ease in Zion, Prophet Isaiah lamented:

• The Vintage shall fail.

• There will be no gathering.

• Thorns and briers shall be upon the land.

• Worship centers will be forsaken and as a result become dens for breeding wild asses (wayward youths).

The word “vintage” here has to do with a gathering of grapes for wine-making of high quality from a particular year and season. Isaiah said the vintage shall fail. This means that there are seasons for everything. Now is the season of gathering, a season of fresh wine of the Holy Spirit. But because women are at ease in Zion, the gathering of grapes that produces fresh wine fail, therefore men are intoxicated with strange wine. This means that the joy of many families will cease and the land will grow thorns and briers.

Thorns in this sense are the effects of the divine curse on the ground that came as a result of sin in Genesis chapter 3 verses 17-18, “cursed is the ground for your sake…both THORNS and thistles it shall bring forth for you”. Ground is that which represent the flesh, the natural. Man needs a helpmeet and God provides the Woman. Since it was the woman who sin first, it will also take the woman to defeat the enemy. A thorn causes physical, emotional and psychological pain. They are humiliating. Women that are at ease in Zion are like thorns and thistle making lives difficult for their husbands, children and Church. Women of God arise and let us lament until the Spirit be poured upon us and the fruitful vine yield grapes. This is our time, this is our season.

“Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off”.

Isaiah 55: 13
When women lament and wail; when we intercede for the Church, the nations, our husbands and children, there will be an outpouring of God’s Holy Spirit.

• Then our Land will become a fruitful field

• And there will be assurance of peace and safety.

This defined the purpose of this book, considering the place of women in global governmental prayers and intercession for their Husbands, Children, Church and Nation. This is our season, the day of reformation.

The Wailing Woman Win (2)

CALLING FORTH WAILING WOMEN
By Deborah Amos Ringson

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."  Gen50:20 ESV

For everything that I have endured as a married woman to get to where I am in Christ today, I am grateful. Because through every situation I gained knowledge, understanding, wisdom, patience, strength, and compassion. Through my strength and compassion, through my testimony, through wisdom, and through the fulfillment of my purpose, people will be saved.

After celebrating the Christmas Holiday with rest and relaxation I have given myself a moment to vacate from the emotion I've been feeling for the last two weeks. As a mother I have been literally weeping over the violence taking the lives of women and children in my state - Jos City.

At a time of the year when people normally count their blessings and take stock of all the happenings of the year, the devil struck with another deadly blow with the genocide of innocent souls in part of Jos.

On the 7th March, 2010 at about 2: 00am the Hausa/Fulani Muslim invaded Dogo Nahauwa, Zot, Rasat, and Fan villages in Jos South and Barkin Ladi L.G.C of Plateau State, and massacred the people of the communities, mostly women and children were brutally murdered with machetes and some burnt to ashes, houses and places of worship were also burnt. Not less than 500 people were reportedly killed in this incident. This single cruel act indicates that we as a nation are now living in post-patriotic age that patriotism is dead. Shall we fold our hands and allow these predicaments to continue? Dead has come into our closed, who is the next victim?

It was also recorded that over 1000 children have lost their lives during the passed and recent Jos crisis. All of this emotion was sparked by religious and political spirit. I'm sad about a promising life snuffed out, I'm angry that this isn't the first tragedy of its kind and I'm mad that our children aren't safe anywhere. I keep wondering when will things change and how will it happen? There has been demonstrated outrage from Plateau State women, community residents and religious leaders. There were prayer vigils and public outrage but obviously they were in vain because our children are no safer today than they were then. All of my turmoil was flamed by the lack of mention or attention that is given to this Jos crisis on some of my favorite news paper and radio shows. We have the privilege of having entire ministries dedicated to the family and its preservation. But, somehow the crisis facing us in the northern part of Nigeria doesn't even make the radar. Or it so seldom makes it that it really isn't worth mentioning. I've been crying out to God! What needs to happen? What steps are concerned Christians to take? For me another very real question is how do I ensure the safety of my people? Am I doing all of this loving, teaching and nurturing only to have my daughter go off the street and not return? I realize my thoughts have become irrational ramblings but to live so close to tragedy is sometimes overwhelming.

Let it be known that in spite of the killings and all atrocities committed by the enemies, there is still hope in the future of our nation. The confidence of this is found in the book of Jeremiah 31: 15 “Thus saith the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping; Rahel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not”, and which was fulfilled when Jesus was born that despite the wailings of parents of slain children, in the midst of that agony, God made a statement of comfort in verse 16, “Thus saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy”. Let us follow this simple step of wailing that will bring about our recovery.

Today I am calling for wailing women. Mothers who will lift up a shout to the Lord on behalf of our babies and our society as a whole. I'm calling for a few women who will humble themselves before the Lord and lament the crisis in our community and in the home front. I'm wondering if there are a couple of women who will fast and seek the Lord for the protection of children everywhere.

The Lord Jesus Christ said on the cross of Calvary to the daughters who stood by weeping with compassion at Christ’s agony. He told them, “…weep not for me, but for your self and for your children”.

THE CALL

When a people’s king dies in a time of battle, it is a bad sign. It is time to cease all celebrations and mourn for certain days.

This has been the lot of the Church in Nigeria. So many Bishops, Reverends, Apostles, prophets and Evangelists, yet only few are doing the work. Others have the title, the name, but they are only public success and secret failure; spiritually dead, yet, applauded by men as great ‘Men of God’ (M.O.G).

I could see a reproach coming upon God’s people, especially the ministers of the gospel. And there is an urgency to stand in the gap. Now to the call in Jeremiah 9: 17-22, it is God’s desperate cry to women at a time of emergency.

“Thus saith the LORD of hosts, Consider ye, and call for the mourning women, that they may come; and send for cunning women, that they may come: And let them make haste, and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters.

For a voice of wailing is heard out of Zion, How are we spoiled! we are greatly confounded, because we have forsaken the land, because our dwellings have cast us out.

Yet hear the word of the LORD, O ye women, and let your ear receive the word of his mouth, and teach your daughters wailing, and every one her neighbour lamentation.

For death is come up into our windows, and is entered into our palaces, to cut off the children from without, and the young men from the streets.

Speak, Thus saith the LORD, Even the carcases of men shall fall as dung upon the open field, and as the handful after the harvestman, and none shall gather them”.

When the Lord begins to call for women, the situation is getting out of hands and need emergent intervention. God was advising the prophet that the present emergency called not just for prayers but tears; not the tears of everybody but those of women, yet not all women but the wailing women; the mourning and cunning one’s.

Jeremiah was called the weeping prophet, but the present situation was beyond a male tears. God needs a woman’s tears. The Lord said, “Send for cunning women”. The term ‘cunning’ as employed in the verse means “skillfulness, dexterity or an architectural ability to produce something”. The Church has the ability to produce the life of Christ but we are at ease. Cunning speaks of mental adroitness, skillfulness in handling things, and been resourceful in dealing with problems. What God is saying in essence is that He needs cunning women that are imbued with grace to stand in the gap.

Women’s tears have come in handy, historically to save people at critical moments. From several scriptures, it apparently appears that the Lord often turns to women as a last resort. This is because the situation is desperate, but also near breakthrough.

“For a voice of wailing is heard out of Zion, How are we spoiled! we are greatly confounded, because we have forsaken the land, because our dwellings have cast us out. Yet hear the word of the LORD, O ye women, and let your ear receive the word of his mouth, and teach your daughters wailing, and every one her neighbour lamentation”.

Jer. 9: 19-20

God has designed that the older women shall teach their daughters and younger women wailing. He needs women’s tears as well as that of men. But women should take the lead, so the rest of men could follow.

In the days of Esther, it was women’s tears that saved the Jews. Thank god for the prophetic sackcloth of Mordecai and the three days fasting of all the Jews – Esth. 4: 16. However, what finally brought the breakthrough was the wailing of Esther and her women warriors armed only with adroit mourning and tears.

Esther did two things before the king that trigger my ego and propelled me to do likewise before the King of Kings.

• Esther falls down at the King’s feet.

• She besought him with tears, to put away the mischief of Haman. Esth. 8: 3.

Why did she humble herself in such a manner? The answer is found in chapter 8: 6, she said: “For how can I endure to see the evil that shall come unto my people? or how can I endure to see the destruction of my kindred?”.

Beloved, how can we endure to see the destruction of our husbands, children and the Church? Where are the wailing women? Who will sow in tears for the salvation of our land? Where are the pastor’s wives that would shed tears for the total deliverance of their husband from materialism, worldliness, and seduction of strange women? The scripture said, “… death is come up into our windows, and is entered into our palaces, to cut off the children from without, and the young men from the streets”. Dead is coming into the Church, into your family, into your nation to cut off the young and the old. Who will stand in the gap? HIV and AIDs are sweeping half of the Church to the grave, who will wail?

Can you see how are mothers are now widows, and the young daughters los their wedding songs. Why are many women in agony? Dead has come.

INNER QUALITY OF A WAILING WOMAN

There are generally two kinds of women mentioned in the Bible. The first type is the one described in 1 Tim. 5: 6, “who lives in pleasure, who is dead while living”. To this category belongs the Jezebel woman of Revelation 2: 20-23. Such are not the type of women God is calling into His wailing programme. Although she may be found in the Church, even bearing the name Prophetess, she is not qualified for she lives in pleasure.

The second kind of woman is an epitome of Serah. She is described in 1 Pet. 3:4 as possessing the two God-admired, unfading inner jewelries of “a meek and quiet spirit”. She is not a gay and gaudy or loud and lousy type, but a sober one: the woman of meek and a quiet spirit, on whose tears the salvation of the land has come to depend on.

Take heed! If the Church will be thus visited with dead, what shall we do? Death has come up into the palace to destroy us. Daughters of Zion, arise and take a wailing. The world is waiting for our prophetic tears.

TEARS SPEAK

Some of us may not know how to preach, teach, but even our weak tears can bring amazing victory. The Lord God will never forget those who invested their tears in watering the land for Him. At a time of overwhelming judgment, a mark of preservation was set only on two classes of people; those who sighed and those who wept over the iniquities of the land –Ezek. 9: 4.

A prophetic tear over the nation speaks powerfully. Hezekiah prayed with tears and God was moved to bless him. He says: “I have seen thy tears; behold, I will add unto thy days fifteen years”, Isa. 38: 5.

In the days of His flesh, our Lord Jesus Christ over up prayers and supplication unto God with strong crying and He was heard – Heb. 5: 7. How much tears have you shed over the ruin of your loved ones? If God measure it today, can the tears fill a bowl? King David discovered in Psalms 56: 8, that God has a prophetic laboratory, where He stores our tears, then transcribes those inarticulate tears into words which are preserve in His book of record. That book of record echoed our voices of supplication long after we may have ceased praying or forgets that we have even pray. Read Rev. 8: 3-4; Psalms 6: 6; 39: 2; 42: 2.

May God record our tears for the nations and remember our lamentation in the days of visitation, Amen.

“Their heart cried unto the LORD, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give thyself no rest; let not the apple of thine eye cease. Arise, cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out thine heart like water before the face of the LORD: lift up thy hands toward him for the life of thy young children that faint for hunger in the top of every street.

Behold, O LORD, and consider to whom thou hast done this. Shall the women eat their fruit, and children of a span long? shall the priest and the prophet be slain in the sanctuary of the Lord?

The young and the old lie on the ground in the streets: my virgins and my young men are fallen by the sword; thou hast slain them in the day of thine anger; thou hast killed, and not pitied”.

Lam. 2: 18-21

 

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Marriage on the Rock

What a world we live in today! Technology and transportation have catapulted us into a new and busier lifestyle that has caused us daily on homefront. We have reinvented ourselves, accepting the idea that busier we are the better off and happier we must be. But what price are we paying when it comes to peace, harmony and happiness in marriage?

The most convincing explanations for why the divorce rate has climbed so fast revolve around this fact that the concept of marriage was organized in terms of family connections, economic dependence and survival, and largely unbreakable religious and legal covenants. Every one seemed to know the rules and followed them. Then our society changed, the rules changed, life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.

God never created anything that requires more than two or more people without a system of authority. That authority is very essential in marriage. Anytime this authority breaks down, the spiritual progress and success of humanity breaks down. We are presently in jeopardy because of the breakdown of the marriage institute and mandate.

In the corporation of marriage, the husband was first created, 1Tim. 2: 13. Then the woman was made and called by his side and together, they become heirs of the Grace of Life in Christ Jesus, 1Pet. 3: 7 (cf. Isa. 51: 2). Their marriage was designed to serve as an evidence of the spiritual covenant between Christ and the Church manifesting in the physical realm.

For marriage to stand the test of time, it must be build on Christ, the Rock. This concept of Marriage on the Rock has been initiated by the emergency and correct functioning of husband and wife relationship that last for a life time. Distortion of God’s original plan for monogamy is one way the enemy opposes kingdom advance. Many may not be found worthy to enter the kingdom as a result of their unstable marriage. The scripture said, “…the children of this world marry, and are given in marriage. But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage”. Luke 20: 34-35. Therefore, clear definitions and repositioning that describe the stability of marriage must be provided, along with actual restructuring activity that attests to and validates a new order of Marriage on the Rock so that many will be counted worthy to enter the kingdom of God on the last day.

Marriage is only here on earth: the scripture emphatically describe this age as time when people are “getting married, and given in marriage” without focusing on eternal life. They are carried away with the bliss of wedding – eating and drinking, forgetting the judgment day. Jesus said, as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in these last days, Luke 17: 26-27.

The missing dimension today is Christ the Rock. Except our marriages are build on the Rock, it can’t stand the great shaking or storm of life which Satan is raging against the homefront. It requires wisdom to build. If you lack wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you to build your marriage on the Rock. This is the challenge of marriage.

May I say, dear friends, as we approach this concept of Marriage on the Rock, my concern is that we shall touch reality at this time. My strong concern is that we shall go beyond theory, beyond human reasoning and meet Christ at the point of deep reality, where He is making us ONE in Him as distinct married couples.

We are in times when the building of Marriage on the Rock is immersed. There is a margin, a gap, between what is known and what is lived. And we want to get into that gap and close it up in this book.

Moment have come when God has set Himself to call His prophets to recover amongst them revelation and truth about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage which were part of the life and testimony of the early Church, but soon lost. My life and ministry, for the most part, is spent establishing “…the things that remain”, Rev. 3: 2.

As we await the soon return of our Lord Jesus, and the emergent of the Church; that there remain on this earth, until the very end, a marriage which is a living testimony of the mystery of the revelation between Christ and the Church in the midst of His people in reality.

TOWARDS A CHRIST-LIKE MARRIAGE

How does the reality of Christ within your personal life affect your marriage? Most people answer that question by saying, “well, we are wedded in the Church” or, “we go to Church together and regularly”. But when they go on to describe what happens between them at home, there is nothing evident that makes their marriage Christ-like.

To me, what makes a marriage Christ-like is that we as couple are seeking to restore what was lost back in Genesis. We become whole people again through the work of Christ, and our marriage becomes fully what it was designed to be – a complete, satisfying union of two people “…with Christ in God”. We are endeavoring to restore some part of what Adam and Eve shared together with God in the beginning.

In a marriage that is Christ-like, we are to seek to restore that spiritual intimacy with God, together as well as individually. Although we can’t go back to the garden, we can recapture within our new life in Christ some of the marital joy that was originally experienced through intimacy with God.

GOD'S BLUEPRIENT FOR MARRIAGE

WELCOME!

The Lord said to me on 30th April, 2005 "Son, sit down and I will teach you the mystery of marriage and the Church: you will recover my testimony in Africa". This word from the Lord led to the birth of my teaching ministry and seminars on marriage, divorce and remarriage.

What a world we live in today! Technology and transportation have catapulted us into a new and busier lifestyle that has caused us daily on homefront. We have reinvented ourselves, accepting the idea that busier we are the better off and happier we must be. But what price are we paying when it comes to peace, harmony and happiness in marriage?

The most convincing explanations for why the divorce rate has climbed so fast revolve around this fact that the concept of marriage was organized in terms of family connections, economic dependence and survival, and largely unbreakable religious and legal covenants. Every one seemed to know the rules and followed them. Then our society changed, the rules changed, life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.

God never created anything that requires more than two or more people without a system of authority. That authority is very essential in marriage. Anytime this authority breaks down, the spiritual progress and success of humanity breaks down. We are presently in jeopardy because of the breakdown of the marriage institute and mandate.

In the corporation of marriage, the husband was first created, 1Tim. 2: 13. Then the woman was made and called by his side and together, they become heirs of the Grace of Life in Christ Jesus, 1Pet. 3: 7 (cf. Isa. 51: 2). Their marriage was designed to serve as an evidence of the spiritual covenant between Christ and the Church manifesting in the physical realm.

For marriage to stand the test of time, it must be build on Christ, the Rock. This concept of Marriage on the Rock has been initiated by the emergency and correct functioning of husband and wife relationship that last for a life time. Distortion of God’s original plan for monogamy is one way the enemy opposes kingdom advance. Many may not be found worthy to enter the kingdom as a result of their unstable marriage. The scripture said, “…the children of this world marry, and are given in marriage. But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage”. Luke 20: 34-35. Therefore, clear definitions and repositioning that describe the stability of marriage must be provided, along with actual restructuring activity that attests to and validates a new order of Marriage on the Rock so that many will be counted worthy to enter the kingdom of God on the last day.

Marriage is only here on earth: the scripture emphatically describe this age as time when people are “getting married, and given in marriage” without focusing on eternal life. They are carried away with the bliss of wedding – eating and drinking, forgetting the judgment day. Jesus said, as it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in these last days, Luke 17: 26-27.

The missing dimension today is Christ the Rock. Except our marriages are build on the Rock, it can’t stand the great shaking or storm of life which Satan is raging against the homefront. It requires wisdom to build. If you lack wisdom, ask God and He will give it to you to build your marriage on the Rock. This is the challenge of marriage.
May I say, dear friends, as we approach this concept of Marriage on the Rock, my concern is that we shall touch reality at this time. My strong concern is that we shall go beyond theory, beyond human reasoning and meet Christ at the point of deep reality, where He is making us ONE in Him as distinct married couples.

We are in times when the building of Marriage on the Rock is immersed. There is a margin, a gap, between what is known and what is lived. And we want to get into that gap and close it up in this book.

Moment have come when God has set Himself to call His prophets to recover amongst them revelation and truth about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage which were part of the life and testimony of the early Church, but soon lost. My life and ministry, for the most part, is spent establishing “…the things that remain”, Rev. 3: 2.

As we await the soon return of our Lord Jesus, and the emergent of the Church; that there remain on this earth, until the very end, a marriage which is a living testimony of the mystery of the revelation between Christ and the Church in the midst of His people in reality.


Culled from my ebook "Marriage on the Rock".
To secure a copy, contact me for payment detail - Email: mcdimar3@gmail.com

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