DO NOT CONTROL YOUR HUSBAND OR RULE YOUR WIFE

In some marriages today, most women try to control their husbands and husbands try to rule over them. This control and ruling game started in Genesis after the Fall. It came as the result of sin. I want to unveil a deep mystery to you and proof that for wives to control their husbands and husbands to rule their wives is non-biblical and Satanic.

During a men's conference, Pastor Peter tells all the men to form two lines. In one line are the men CONTROLLED by their wives, and in the other line are the men who RULED their wives. The line with the men controlled by their wives is hundreds of miles long. The other line has only one man in it. Peter is angry. He says, "All you men should be ashamed of yourselves allowing your wives to control you. Look at this man, the only one who stood up like a man. Tell me, my son, how did you do it?" "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

God did not intend that anyone should control or rule their partners in marriage. In fact, Jesus said just the opposite. "Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:42-45 (NIV)

People are not supposed to exercise authority harshly over one another or force other people to do their will. That is totally outside of the kingdom of God. And in Ephesians 5:21, before Paul starts writing specifically to the husband and wife, he begins his treatise on marriage like this: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ".

The Christian life is about serving each other. It is NOT about controlling any other person or demanding obedience. In fact, if anyone does that, then they are acting in an unchristian manner. They are not reflecting God; they are reflecting the enemy.

Therefore, your husband should not rule you, and he is acting non-biblical if he does. Likewise, your wife should not control you.

SUBMIT AND LEAD, NOT CONTROL AND RULE

The mandate of the husband is to LEAD like Christ, not RULE. Christ rule his enemy, but lead his church. This is why David said in Psalms 110:2 “The LORD shall send the rod of your strength out of Zion: rule you in the midst of your enemies”. Your wife is not your enemy. A man who rule his wife is treating her as an enemy, and not as covenant partners.

The wife is to submit as the church does to Christ and not to control her husband. The wife is the picture of the church. Just imagine the church controlling Christ; that will be Satanic.

Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God". Your individual submission to God will be reflected in your submission to each other in marriage. The phrase "In the fear of God” means you both are under the sovereignty of the Lord and will treat each other with respect as sons and daughters belonging to One Father. This means that if I have God's fear, I will not rule over (dominate) my wife and she will not control me. We will both be driven by the Word of God.

Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord". When you submit, you are not submitting to a man, but to the Lord in the man. This is why controlling and ruling is not fitting for couples.

The husband is to lead through the Word of God and the wife is to submit to the Word of God in her husband. This is God's pattern.

Understanding the Origin of Wife Controlling and Husband Ruling.

As God pronounces judgment on Eve for her part of the transgression in Eden, He says, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). This verse causes some puzzlement. It would seem that a woman desiring her husband would be a good thing, and not a curse.

The most basic and straightforward understanding of this verse is that woman and man would now have ongoing conflict because of the Fall. In contrast to the ideal conditions in the Garden of Eden and the harmony between Adam and Eve, their relationship, from that point on, would include a power struggle I marriage. The NLT translation makes it more evident: “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

God is saying that Eve would desire to control over her husband, but her husband would instead rule over her.

That was not God's original plan for Husband and Wife, it came because of sin. Since the Fall, wives always struggled to control their husbands and their husbands instead ruled over them.

God is saying that Eve would desire to control her husband, but her husband would instead rule over her. Replacing the mutually interdependent relationship the Lord had created was a desire for one spouse to lead the other. Sin had wrought discord. The battle of the sexes had begun.. Both man and woman would now seek the upper hand in marriage. The man who was to lovingly care for and nurture his wife would now seek to rule her, and the wife would desire to wrest control from her husband.

Through Jesus Christ, we are set free from the curse of Genesis 3:16. Through the grace of Jesus, husbands can love and lead their wives, and wives too can submit and respect their husbands.

Any wife controlling her husband and any husband ruling over his wife are under the influence of sin and demonic manipulation. Repent and ask God to forgive you.