TWO THINGS THAT DESTROY AND TWO THINGS THAT BUILD MARRIAGES:

TWO THINGS THAT DESTROY MARITAL SUCCESS
Author Jimmy Evans says, “Every marriage has a 100% chance of success with the right information.” Is success in marriage really that simple? Yes! Assuming, of course, that the “right information” is acted upon. Marriage can be and should be the one place on earth where an atmosphere of peace, acceptance and love is always found. Heaven on earth in marriage is possible for you and your marriage.

There are two things that success in marriage builds upon and there are two things that destroy success. Every couple that desires real success in marriage must develop and maintain respect and honor towards each other…especially during times of conflict and offenses. There is no greater destroyer of happiness in marriage as dis respectfulness. Disrespect and the lack of honor towards your spouse are two things that must be avoided in marriage at all cost. So what does respect and honor look like in marriage?

• Respect and honor is never talking to your spouse as if they are stupid and dumb.
• Respect and honor is never belittling your spouse because of what they said, done or how they are behaving.
• Respect and honor in marriage never uses words such as, “I told you so,” or “You're just like your mother, or “You always do this,” or “You never…” or “If only you…” or “Why do you always…”
• Respect and honor protects and values your spouse’s opinions, feelings and emotions.
• Respect and honor in marriage relates to your spouse as if Jesus Himself was in the room listening and watching.

Respect and honor requires maturity and self-control. Where maturity and self-control are absent, even the smallest issues of offense generate floods of wrong words. Wherever a troubled marriage continues to decline, without fail you will find that immaturity and self-centeredness dominates the marriage. But even self-centered babies can grow up if they choose to. It is a choice. Respect and honor is a choice. You can be respectful and honor your spouse if you choose to. It may be a battle to conquer years of immaturity but it can be overcome. The only reason immaturity, disrespect and the lack of honor exist in marriage is by the decision to remain the same. 

Join me tomorrow as we look at two keys that build marital success.

TWO THINGS THAT BUILD MARITAL SUCCESS
Success in marriage is built upon giving grace and space towards your spouse. These two things must be developed and maintain within the marriage relationship for success to thrive. It is God’s amazing grace that causes men to turn to God with surrender and love. So it is within marriage. Extending grace and space towards your spouse causes love to bear long-lasting fruit. So what does grace and space in marriage look like?

• Grace and space allows your spouse to get mad at you without your quick defense.
• Grace and space, understands that your spouse is not perfect.
• Grace and space allows your spouse to express their feelings, emotions and frustrations while you listen with empathy.
• Grace and space seeks first to understand before it demands to be understood.
• Grace and space allows time for apologies without being cold-hearted until it comes.
• Grace and space is the first to ask for forgiveness even when it knows it is right.
• Grace and space loves unconditionally.

Often, we take advantage of God’s grace knowing that He will forgive. Often, we even abuse God’s grace. But thank God, His grace is never exhausted. If there is one person that we should in return extend such grace, it should be to our spouse. Often, we want God to treat us with grace while we treat one another with demands and intolerance. Success in marriage where true happiness flourishes must have grace and space to grow and overcome weaknesses. Pushing one into perfection never works. Forcing one to change through guilt, demands and condemnation only strengthens unwanted behavior.

Respect, honor, grace and space; these are the ingredients for success in marriage.