THE MURMURING SPOUSE:

With a bold voice she said, “Prophet Jabari, I don’t murmur, I simply speak the true facts about my husband.” I often get this type of response after speaking on the subject of murmuring within marriage. For many murmuring is defined as speaking lies about someone or a circumstance. Therefore, as long as you are speaking facts and the truth, you are not murmuring. So what is murmuring? In the context of the Bible, murmuring is speaking about someone or some circumstance with unbelief that God has or is working it all out. 

In the book of Numbers, chapter fifteen and sixteen, the people of Israel were in the wilderness without any water and food. So the people began to cry out to Moses about having no water and food. It was a fact that they had no water or food. It was the truth that they had no water or food. The circumstance was real. But in this story, we find that God called their crying out to Moses as, “murmuring.” But wait. They spoke the truth. They spoke the facts. So what is murmuring? 

Anytime we speak as if God is not in control; any time we speak as if God is not helping us; anytime we speak as if God has not heard and answered or is answering our prayer, it is called murmuring. It is impossible to be in real faith and yet murmur at the same time. In other words, if I believe that God is changing and healing my marriage and working all things out for my good, I will not and cannot murmur about whatever is happening at the present time within my marriage. I cannot be in faith toward God and yet be murmuring at the same time. 

Murmuring is speaking about someone or some circumstance where the heart has no faith that is God is working it all out according to His miracle power. Where there is no faith, there will be complaining and murmuring. It is not uncommon to hear a wife or husband say, “I have been praying but my marriage is getting no better.” The very words reveal no faith that God is at work. Therefore, the words become murmuring. 

Murmuring then serves as a gauge or a meter that measures unbelief. The more we murmur, the greater the unbelief. So what do we do if we find ourselves murmuring about what we want God to change?

First, we need to repent of our murmuring and our unbelief. We must always remember that God cannot change what we murmur about because without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb. 11:6). 

Second, we need to set our hearts on God’s love and mercy and that He is for us and our marriage and desires to heal and change whatever needs to be healed and changed. 

Thirdly, we need to release our faith with our confession that God is at work and that God is hearing and answering our prayers. 

We must set a watch over our mouths and our hearts that we never fall into the trap of murmuring about that which we need God’s help in.