The quicker you are to apologize, the less life you give to conflict. Being quick to apologize can be the best defense to conflict within your marriage. A frame of mind that has helped me be quick to apologize is this: “It’s not worth it…It’s not worth going another hour being mad or angry at each other.” The quicker I am to apologize, the sooner happiness and peace is restored. Apology isn’t always about being in the wrong. Often, apologizing is the open door to the communication necessary to bring peace and restoration. Expressing a sincere apology removes the defensiveness of the one you are apologizing to. Once the defensiveness is removed, then real communication becomes possible.
When it comes to apologizing, here are some things never to do when you apologize:
1. Never apologize and defend your actions at the same time.
2. Never apologize for the hurt you caused while ignoring the actions and the behavior that created the hurt.
3. Never apologize and then explain how you were hurt too by their behavior.
4. Never apologize while giving advice on how to avoid provoking such behavior from you the next time.
True apologies are void of self-defense, excuses and conditions. Learning to apologize the right way does not make you weak but makes you strong. How well do you apologize?
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