The Lord commands women to have a “calm and a quiet spirit”. A spirit that rests on His promises, and let go to let God. An everyday surrender to Him.
First and foremost, let me share on the definition of the word contentious.
Being contentious means; tending to argument, strife; quarrelsome.
The Bible clearly gives us the definitions further.
“The woman of folly is boisterous. She is naive, and knows nothing.” Proverbs 9:13
“It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman.” Proverbs 21:19
“It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 25:24
A contentious wife is one that contends her own way…her arguments are never a way to voice her concerns, No! No! It is simply CONTROL.
A CONTENTIOUS WIFE IS SIMPLY A CONTROLLING WIFE.
A contentious wife is one that contends her own way.
This are some characteristics of a contentious wife.
She is always comparing the husband to “so and so” to Simon, Tom, Zack, the next door neighbor. Actually, the husband is never complete in her eyes.
She belittles the husband’s abilities, strength, IQ, work, job, aspirations, dreams, vision, activities, character and even his body.
She is like a pressure cooker. She exerts pressure until something gets done.
She constantly argues with her husband, anything can turn into an argument. Nothing he says makes sense. She constantly disapproves his way.
She is a nag, constantly being the one who is always unappreciated, judged, and overburdened. Grumpy is her middle name; she seldom brings joy to her husband.
She is always the one with the right judgement.
She is super controlling. Things have to go her way. If not, there will be no peace in that house.
She is the nag to the husband. “You didn’t do this, you didn’t do that, you didn’t buy this, you didn’t buy that, you”. You…you is always her statement!
She is the prosecutor, the judge, and the jury to the husband. Always correcting the husband in front of others and even the children too! (That is foolishness!)
She always tries to find fault in whatever he does. Or wherever he goes, or whoever he meets with.
She is quick to point out every mistake, every wrong thing with the husband, there will be nothing good with him 24/7 365 days!
She is a type of woman whose conversations are always like” I told you so”, “you never listen”…”you see…”
She manipulates her way to get her husband to do her bidding. She will coerce him, or worse, withdraw from him to force him into action.
She never listens, and if she does, it’s always superficial, redoing the wrong things again.
She can never apologize. She will never see her wrong side. To her, she is always right!
She is bossy and quarrelsome; her mouth is her greatest weapon. Abuses, abuses and abuses.
She is always on the revenge mission. “Getting back” to the husband.
If you have most of these characteristics… your last name is obviously Mrs. Contentious!
YOU NEED TO REPLACE CONTENTIOUS WITH A QUEIT SPIRIT
If you are so, soon your husband will be retreating at the roof top!
I.e. he will soon start being busy, his friends will precede you.
He will avoid you like a plague, and he would rather spend time at work than spend a weekend with you, worse, he might turn to the drink soon!
Have you ever sat down and asked yourself, “am I the one who is always right?”
“Is my husband always wrong?”
“Could the problem be my attitude?”
I mean, he can’t possibly be wrong always, and you cannot be possibly always right!
You need to start telling the Lord to change you.
To give you a heart that is calm, to give you a quiet spirit. One that rests on his promises, rather than having a selfish and a turbulent one!
The problem with being a contentious woman is that while you are busy planning, plotting, accusing, degrading, and complaining about your husband, you are actually doing so at the expense of other things!
You miss the point of being married.
You miss the joy that marriage brings.
You miss the fun and the laughter.
You miss the growth and maturity that marriage brings!
You miss showing your children the love that can be between two different people!
You miss everything! And the worst, you miss the chance of letting God mold you to be a wife to that man!
Your husband dreads you more than the scorching sun to the wayfarer.
The contentious you is like a leaking faucet! Soon, your whole house is a mess!
Tell the Lord to change you! You need not mess your marriage just because you can’t keep the arguments away.
Some are unavoidable…But there is the ALWAYS WAY…and, the answer is to attack the problem, not your HUSBAND.
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