SMART WOMEN, FOOLISH CHOICES

1 Sam 25:2-3 “Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was VERY RICH….. 3. The name of the man was NABAL, and the name of his wife ABIGAIL. And she was a woman of GOOD UNDERSTANDING and BEAUTIFUL APPEARANCE; but the man was HARSH and EVIL in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb”.

Why do some smart women end up in bad relationships with the opposite sex? We’re talking about successful women from the highest ranks of corporate organizations to business owners and lawyers—highly intelligent and well respected in their fields. Why do they thrive in their careers but seem so luckless in love?

What is smartness? Smart is defined as (of a person) clean, tidy, and well dressed. Example 'you look very smart'.

The Bible consistently affirms feminine beauty. For Abigail, it says: “She was an intelligent and beautiful woman…” Another version says she had ‘lovely features’. Beautiful and Smart Abigail was married to a wealthy man, and she may have enjoyed the benefits of an affluent lifestyle, but her rich husband Nabal was foolish, intemperate, and mean.

Abigail’s name is derived from two Hebrew words, “father” and “happiness”, and means “my father’s happiness”. She may have been the cause of happiness in her father’s house, but Abigail’s marriage cannot have been a happy one. Why? She made the wrong choice.

Why should a smart woman like Abigail with “Good understanding and beautiful appearance” fell in love with a man that is “Harsh and Evil” in his doings? I wonder!

Is it because of his riches?

Didn’t Abigail saw the evil and foolishness in him before marriage?

What motivated her to marry such a man?

Was it an arranged marriage by parents?

The answer is that most of the SMART LADIES are waiting for their CLASS, instead of searching for GODLY MEN. And once their class shows up, the foolishly “fall in and out of love”. I have heard and seen many ladies rejecting potential and godly suitors telling them, “You are not my class”.

FOOLISH CHOICE OF MARRYING A HARSH MAN

Her husband’s name is Nabal meaning “foolish” or “senseless”. As an adjective, nabal is sometimes used of people who have no perception of ethical or religious claims. It’s an apt name for Abigail’s husband who typifies such behaviour.

She said in verses 25 “As his name is, so is he”. Ladies, just close your eyes and imagine it were you married to a foolish, harsh and evil man. I can hear you saying, “Ha, Pastor Jabari, that’s disgusting!" Sure, it is.

The word foolish means “to be devoid of good sense or judgment; having or revealing stupidity”.

Can a woman of understanding and beauty dwell happily under the same roof with a foolish and harsh man? Oh, how devastating and demoralizing will that be!

In 1 Sam 25:3, it says, “…And she was a woman of GOOD UNDERSTANDING and BEAUTIFUL APPEARANCE; but the man was HARSH and EVIL in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb”.

According to God's Word, Nabal was not only a fool, but harsh and evil. Your good understanding and beautiful appearance will be valueless to a foolish and harsh man. Your thoughts and lifestyles will be at variance with each other, leading to insecurity, isolation and emotional divorce.

How comes Smart Abigail couldn’t see the evil, harshness and foolishness in Nabal before marriage? You can answer that question.

SMART WOMEN AND THE HOUSE OF CALEB

Last part of verses 3 stated that Nabal was from the “house of Caleb”. Why was his family name mentioned? The name “Caleb” derive from keleb, meaning “dog-like, shameless; (by euphemism) a male prostitute [from an unused root meaning to yelp, or else to attack]”. This means he was from a family who were rich, immoral, wicked, ungodly, shameless and adulterous.

Believe me, there are families like that today who are extremely rich and influential, but lack common sense. Can such family pray or invite God into their homes since they have whatever money can buy? No wonder, Psalms 14:1 describe a fool in this manner: “The fool has said in his heart, "There is no God."

My daughters, before you marry any man, check his background and make sure he is truly born again. Don’t be carried away with the Mansion, fleets of cars and flamboyant lifestyle. Proverbs 17:1 says, “Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife”.

Nabal has no reverence for God, verse 20 made us to understand that Abigail went to meet David, the man of God “under cover”. Why? For fear of her evil husband who will definitely stop her if he knows. So many married women today are going to church or attending programs “under cover” to avoid being beaten or receive verbal abuse from their unbelieving husbands.

Even though Nabal was a wealthy man, yet he has no regards for the men of God. The Bible said he refused to help King David. Instead of supporting the work of God, he was holding feast with friends according to verse 36. King David was so annoyed and determined to kill him and all his men. If not because of the wisdom and intercession of the wife, all the males from his household would have been destroyed by King David. Verses 24- 25 said Abigail fell at the feet of King David and said, "On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. 25 Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him!”

BEWARE OF SCOUNDREL FOOLS

1 Sam 25:25 “Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him!”

Incompatible marriage is not something to flaunt at. Imagine the Smart Abigail discovering only after marriage that her husband is a “Scoundrel Fool”, that is “A wicked or evil person who act foolishly; someone who does evil deliberately and has no regard for or fear of God”.

Though David hearkens to the pleading of Abigail and spares her husband, however God later struck him and he died. And Abigail suddenly became a young widow. But at least that is better for her because she ends up being the King’s bride.

Beloved lady, if your boyfriend is harsh and evil before marriage, be sure that his harshness, evil and foolishness will escalate into verbal and emotional abuse after marriage. Don't say he will change. That's the lie of the devil. Listen to this proverbs –

"As a dog returns to his own vomit, So a fool repeats his folly". Prov 26:11

"Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his foolishness will not depart from him". Prov 27:22

Can you endure living with a SCOUNDREL FOOL? It will take a lot of prayers to avert the judgment of God upon such a family. You can enjoy his wealth and mansion now, but thereafter, the wealth will be nothing to you compare to the pain and disgrace you will go through.

A scoundrel husband will have no value for the things of God and will always combat at your devotion to church activities or connection to men of God.

“Stay away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips”, was the warning of Proverb14:7. Out of experience, Solomon quipped that a fool "does what seems right to him and does not listen to advice", Proverb12:15.

Proverb 14:16 describe the nature of a fool as "hotheaded and reckless." Proverb 18:2 says he "delights in airing his own opinions" and Proverb 20:3 said he is "quick to quarrel." Proverb 28:26 sums up the basic problem in his life when it says that a foolish man "does not walk in wisdom." And finally Proverb 29:11 say he "gives full vent to his anger, and has no self-control."

Being smart is not a criterion for chosen a life part, but the wisdom of God. For the Bible says, “wisdom is profitable to direct”. Ecclesiastes 10:10 (KJV)

Ladies, you might think you are SMARTER than men, but without the revelation of God’s word and wisdom, you might end up making a foolish choice by marrying a Scoundrel Fool and regret thereafter. Don’t marry your CLASS, marry GOD’S CLASS.