BEING POSITIVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE:

Part Eight (A) of "When Love Is Gone, Where Does It Go?"

Having a positive attitude in life is powerful “only” if you’re positive about the right information. Being positive yet lacking the right information can still produce negative results. With a positive attitude, many determine not “to give up” on their marriage but because they lack the right information their positive attitude fails to produce desired results. This is a common reason for years of struggle among couples whose attitude is positive in wanting their marriage to work but lack the right information. If I give you an address to find in Lagos, but with a map of Abuja, it would not matter how positive you were concerning finding the address, you will experience much frustration and confusion because you are being led by the wrong information.

Allow me to suggest to you two things to be positive about concerning your marriage.

First, be positive that as you think in your heart about your spouse and marriage so will be your marriage. You cannot have a troubled marriage without a troubled thought-life. Be positive about the truth that your love for your spouse cannot grow cold without first your love growing cold in your thought-life. How does one remain positive about this truth? Be positive that as you think in your heart so are you. Being positive about this truth is working this truth for your good. Refuse to allow even the smallest thought to dwell within your heart that is unproductive and negative about your spouse.

Mastering your thought-life with positive truth means that you understand that whatever issues arise within your relationship, you can control what and how you think and what you say and how you say it. You are not a puppet on a string being forced to say and do whatever comes to your mind. What you do and say in any given circumstance must be allowed by how you are thinking at the moment. Be positive that as you think in your heart, so you speak and act, so positively think loving, caring, gentle and encouraging thoughts.

Unhappiness cannot exist in marriage without first dominating your thought-life with negative thinking and self-talk.

LOVES DOES NOT FALL AWAY…IT IS “THOUGHT AWAY”

Be positive that as you think in your heart, your emotions and feelings will follow. How can one be positive about this truth? Positively know that your feelings follow your thinking. Therefore, if you desire to be passionately in love with your spouse, think passionate loving thoughts about your spouse – on purpose and with purpose. Be positive that such thinking will indeed produce feelings of love. You cannot feel positive about anything you think negatively about, and likewise, you cannot keep falling in love with your spouse if you fail to keep loving your spouse with your entire mind. There is no such thing as falling out of love. That is a lie. No one falls out of love.

Loves does not fall away…it is “thought” away. Love cannot enter your heart nor can it leave your heart without the cooperation of your thought-life. It is helpful to understand that a person’s thought-life consists not only of thoughts but:

A. How one sees their mate and marriage on the inside of their heart and
B. How one talks to themselves within their heart about their spouse.

How you see life and your marriage is determined by how you think in your heart. How you talk to yourself about life and your marriage is determined by how you think in your heart. Love rises or falls according to your thought-life. This truth can become transforming information that can positively change your life forever if you positively embrace and act upon it.

If you are serious about falling in love with your spouse over and over again, then I highly recommend doing the following. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Do not assume you know what you think at the core of your heart. Your inner thoughts are hidden within your feelings on the inside. Your inner feelings determine how you see and respond to life. If you feel or sense a lack of love and romance for your spouse, these feelings are following your thinking in your heart. Therefore, with purpose and intention make yourself think wonderful, loving and passionate thoughts about your spouse and marriage. You are in complete control of how you think and because feelings follow thinking, you can control how you feel about your spouse. You create what you feel with your thoughts.