STOP READING YOUR PARTNERS MIND:

Most relationship problems and associated social anxieties start with bad communication, which in turn leads to attempted mind reading. Mind reading occurs when two people assume that they know what the other is thinking when they don’t. This process of wondering and trying to guess what someone is thinking is a rapid route to feelings of insecurity and stress.

If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else. If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative connotation. Likewise, don’t make the people in your life try to read your mind. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.

It’s also important to remember that you aren’t suppose to know every little thing going on in the minds of others, even the people closest to you. When you stop trying to read their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy. Everyone deserves the right to think private thoughts. Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can provoke a person to withdraw from a relationship to find space.

I once heard a definition of love and I certainly agree with it: Love is giving of yourself to another person in order to meet their basic needs without having any expectations in return. When you give of your time, effort and attention to another person in order to meet their basic needs, then real love will begin to happen. The key is in understanding their personality style and understanding the things that make them happy, expecting nothing in return. It is the same principle of "give and it will be given unto you." Notice you must give first before anything comes in return. And sometimes that takes time.