Reunited: Marriage In A Million (Harlequin Romance)
Before two people get married, they generally spend much time together. They may go to great lengths to plan special occasions. As they court one another, the two sense the romance that is enveloping them. Romance is an intoxicating feeling that is so delightful but difficult to explain.
Proverbs 30:18-19 says of romance: "There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden" (NIV).
The flush of romance is so powerful that it often acts as a force driving couples to marriage. Once a couple is married, however, it seems that romance fades. Husbands and wives spend less and less time thinking about what they can do to please each other.
It is common for a husband or wife to become selfish-thinking only about his or her needs and how the other isn't meeting expectations. When a "what's-in-it-for-me?" attitude becomes predominant, relationships flounder. Husbands find themselves wondering why women are so hard to understand, and wives want to know why their husbands don't pay more attention to them. Such marriages are in need of renewed romance.
In Proverbs 5:18-19 we find this directive: "Let your fountain [marital relationship] be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. May her breasts satisfy you at all times; may you be intoxicated always by her love" (New Revised Standard Version). To be intoxicated or "enraptured" (New King James Version) by a marriage partner's love is something God wants us to enjoy throughout our marriages.
When romance begins to fade, some couples find it hard to retain the close feelings they previously had for each other. But rekindling romance is not that difficult when we understand what to do and commit ourselves to the task. In fact, men and women respond easily to romantic overtures from their spouses when a knowledgeable mate goes about trying to restore romance to a relationship. So what are the keys to keeping romance alive in a marriage?
One of the first keys is to give ourselves to our mate. In a world in which it is so easy to be selfish, consumed with our personal expectations, we must do the opposite. Romance In Marriage
We must first give in order to receive. When we apply the principles of love and respect as found in Ephesians 5:33, our husband or wife will be strongly influenced to love and respect us in return. Illustrating this principle to husbands, Paul wrote: "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself" (Ephesians 5:28).
When a husband treats his wife and family in a loving and kind way, putting their needs and wishes ahead of his own, a wife is strongly influenced to respond with affection and physical intimacy.
Similarly, when a wife respects her husband, freely extends love and intimacy, and praises him for the good things he does, he practically becomes putty in her hands. He becomes much more receptive to what this beautiful creature, his wife who makes him so very happy, has to say. Selfishness, on the other hand, does just the opposite. It strains the marital relationship.
Husbands and wives who preserve romance by giving themselves to each other find that their mates aren't difficult to influence at all. To them, marriage is the wonderful, delightful, energizing relationship God intended.
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