ADAM’S RIB

This teaching is an excerpt from my unpublished book title “Adam’s Rib”.

The Lord said to me on 30^th April, 2005 “Son, sit down and I will teach you the mystery of the Church and Marriage; You will Recover My Testimony in Africa”. Since then God has been using my wife and I to reach out to both the married and unmarried in Africa.

It is a fact that we are now witnessing the breakdown of marriages and relationships. The problem is not the marriage institution, because it was instituted and established by God and He said “It is good”. The problem is the people entering the institution without knowing the principles governing the institution that are causing the problem.

This means that without Biblical knowledge of the first Principle of Marriage as established in Genesis, we will become the architect of our calamities.

THE JOURNEY SO FAR

When you start a journey without a road map, you will end up going nowhere. Marriage is a journey. Without a road map, we will never arrive to where we will enjoy its fullness.

The Bible said in Isaiah 46: 10 that God, “Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure”. For us to fully understand the Divine Precedent of Marriage, we must start from the beginning. The Divine Principle of Marriage that was established by God from the BEGINNING, can’t be altered. He said, “My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure”.

Understanding and following His counsel will lead us to partaking in His pleasure. That means, what gives God pleasure, will also give us pleasure. The question now is, what is God’s counsel on marriage?

How did God find a wife for the first man – Adam?

Did Adam search for her?

Join me as we go back to the BEGINNING and learn how God provided a wife for ADAM.

THE LORD CAUSED A “DEEP SLEEP” TO FALL ON THE MAN

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept:” Genesis 2:21a

The Hebrew word for “deep sleep” is tardemah yashen and it means, “To slack, to remain long, to keep on sleeping”. This refers to absolute silence, trust and rest in God’s providence. This “deep sleep” is a position of deep trust and rest in God’s promises. “And Adam slept’, it is the man that God must first work upon. The reason for the work is to prepare a room in his heart to accommodate a wife. But unfortunately, many men are getting out of this “deep sleep” position and as a result, they experience heart breaks in relationship.

MEN, GO AND SLEEP

Brothers, if you desire to discover the right woman, GO and SLEEP. Remember it was when Adam slept that the Lord took one of his ribs and made a Right Woman for him. “…and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof.” Genesis 2: 21b

The word “took” from the Hebrew root Achaz means, “to seize violently” with the idea of holding in possession until the appointed time and thereafter to restore it back to the rightful owner. The woman was violently pull out of man, and will violently come back to him with great interest. Her returning from the Lord reveals the principle of grace which will be explain later.

Are you sleeping spiritually and resting with full confidence that God is preparing a wife for you or you are awake, falling in and out of relationships? Unless you sleep and wait on God, it will be difficult for you to find a godly wife.

THE LORD MADE THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR THE RIGHT MAN

“And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman,” Genesis 2: 22a

Here we have another beautiful word “Made” from the Hebrew word Banah meaning, “to manufacture something out of something”. In another context, it has the more precise meaning “to sculpture something according to pattern”. The soul of the man and that of woman were created (brought into existent out of nothing) in the same day, but it was later that the woman’s body was made out of an existing material, Adam’s Rib.

When the Lord God took the RIB, He made a wife for the man. The wife you are looking for is at the hand of the Master. He is making her to be a wife material. Until God is satisfied that she is now fit to be a wife, He will not reveal her to you. Therefore, it is required that you WAIT and keep on sleeping. Don’t open your eyes, less Satan gives you a SUBSTITUTE.

THE LORD BROUGHT THE WOMAN TO THE RIGHT MAN.

According to Genesis 2: 22, the Lord “…brought her unto the man”. The word “brought” means, “to bear, or carry, to lead or to bring up to”. This principle reveals the efficacy of divine grace in marriage. The man did not need to labour or work to earn her; she is a grace gift from God. The man is to sleep and wait until God wake him to see the woman He brought to him.

The book of Proverbs 19: 14 said, “…but a prudent wife is from the Lord”. The word “prudent” from the Hebrew word “Sakal” means “cause to be wise, cause to succeed, to make sensible”. The word ‘from the Lord’ refers to the principles of Marriage Grace. She is a grace gift ‘from the Lord’ and the man who obtained her “obtained favour (prosperity, wealth, wisdom) from the Lord”, Prov. 18: 22. She is a woman imbued with the ability to make the man sensible (wise) and to cause him to succeed in all his endeavours on earth. But an adulterous woman will hunt for his soul and destroy his potential of ever becoming a man that God design him to be. Proverb 7: 7-27 mentioned a senseless young man who strayed at her path and ended up a victim of misfortune. Until God brings her to you, any other woman will be a heart break.

THE RIGHT MAN DISCOVERED THE RIGHT WOMAN AND WAS DELIGHTED

When Adam woke up from his deep sleep position, behold a woman standing before him. He saw her in glory after God open his eyes. Adam was not walking in the fleshing and searching for a life partner. The Bible said that immediately he saw her, he knew she is the wife God has provided for him. He did not waste her time with a prolong courtship. He did not put a ring in her finger. He did not cohabit with her in order to taste her before marriage. But Adam immediately announced, “this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man”, Genesis 2:23a. Adam identified her as his very essence. He did not search for her, but God brought her to him. He suddenly discovered that this is the right woman specially designed by God for him and they got married.

STAY IN GOD’S PRESENCE

It will take divine DISCOVERY for you to recognize your wife to be. And it is only possible in the presence of God. Once you step out of God’s presence, you are on your own.

The word “discovers” from the Hebrew matsa means, “to gain knowledge about something”. In the middle voice, it means “to acquire or obtain, to perceive distinctly, discern clearly, come in sight of, expose to view, have a sudden realisation of”. This described what happened to Adam in the garden. He discovered her in God’s presence. In the same vein, the writer of Proverb used the word “find” which carry the same meaning with the word “discover” and different from the modern usage of the word Search. Prov. 18: 22.

LADIES, YOU ARE NOT A MISSING RIB

NOTE: the use of this term by - “Single and Still Searching” (SSS) is offensive. A woman is not a MISSING RIB, but a HIDDEN RIB. “Missing” is a word referring to something that is lost and may be found only when physical labour is applied. While the word “hidden” means “something kept out of sight or view, something concealed from, reserved for or kept secret from; to cause something to remain unknown, with the implication of concealment and inaccessibility”. It also means, “to cover as with a veil”. A woman is not a missing rib, but a hidden rib. She is a grace gift in the hands of Christ the Master, in the place of formation and structuring. She is divinely concealed and reserved for the right man and for an appointed time. She is physically and temporarily concealed from the right man’s intuitive recognition.

This is God’s perfect design for discovering a life partner. But a loose woman can get out of this “concealment” and become an open target to marry the wrong man. Ladies, never get out of this place of covering. Stay in the presence of God. Let the man find you in God’s presence.

THE MAN SPOKE FIRST TO THE WOMAN

“And Adam SAID, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh”. Genesis 2: 23b

The word “said” Hebrew dabar means, “to say, to command, to promise, to order or to announce”. Adam first speaks out; this is divine designed. It takes the man to discover the right woman. At this point, the man has not yet touched her. Why? The identification was done in the soul realm, not through DREAMS and VISION. Adam saw her in a different way. He announced, “this is my very essence”. Their anatomical (bones) and physiological structure (flesh) were compatible with each other.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed”. Genesis 2: 24-25

Notice: Sex comes last. Sex before marriage destroys the capability of ever discovering a compatible life partner. Sex before marriage is prohibited by God’s Word. “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”. Hebrews 13: 4.

We can learn much from this because it has never changed. The Lord Jesus Christ still make the woman for the man and brings them together by grace in marriage at the right time, if we only allow Him to have His way. She is built to specifications to fit the man physically, soulishly and spiritually just as Eve (Adam's right woman) in the Garden.

A man or a woman is incomplete without his/her right partner. The Lord never built them to be single in the first place. Divine design has provided the perfect solution if we can just allow it without getting in the way! More on this part will be elaborated in subsequent lessons.

“It will take you one minute to get into marriage, and a life time to get out. So, make the right choice” 

“Marry a Man without a biblical mission and you will have no eternal vision; Marry a Man without his eternal vision and you will violate your biblical mission! Marry a Woman who does not believe in the biblical mission and you will lose your vision; Marry a Woman who does not have the biblical vision and you will fail at your eternal mission!”

UNHAPPY IN HER MARRIAGE

She was having trouble in her marriage. Her husband was a good man and a wonderful provider. He never spoke harshly to her, and he tried to please her all the time, yet there was a problem in the marriage. He really didn't understand that there was a problem, yet she was so unhappy. They had been married for many years, and every year she became increasingly unhappy.

This wife was also unhappy in her relationship with God. She and her family were active in their church. Yet, she felt like she could never quite measure up to who God wanted her to be. She was involved in several church ministries. No matter how much she did at church, she still felt like God was disappointed with her. Could she ever please God? She was becoming more convinced that it was about impossible. She made an appointment to see a pastoral counselor on the staff of her church. She shared with the counselor how unhappy she was in her marriage. She admitted that her husband was a good man, but for some reason, she was becoming more and more unhappy.

Then, she went on to tell the counselor how she felt, that she would never be able to please God. Even though she had worked in so many ministries of the church, it never seemed to be enough to find God's favor. She had finally admitted to someone for the first time the pent-up feelings that had bothered her for so long.
The counselor had asked her several questions, but he had one more to ask. He said, "How was your relationship with your dad?" At first she thought, what does my dad has to do with my Christian faith and my marriage?

But, she didn't question the counselor. Instead, she said, "Oh, my dad was a nice man, hard-working and a good provider." Then, there was a long pause. She had a tear flowing down her face. She brushed it away and said, "You know, my dad was a good man, but we weren't very close. He was often critical of me, and I felt like I could never please him. Don't get me wrong, I respected him. I always wanted to please him, but I'm not sure that I ever did. If I did, he certainly never let me know it. He was usually a quiet man."
She looked away, looking as though she was in deep thought. Then, she said, "You know, maybe you will think this is self-pity, but I never remember him telling me that he loved me. Oh, I'm sure that he did love me, but he never told me. He just wasn't that kind of a man. He never really hugged me or told me that I did anything to please him." By this time, the tears were flowing freely, and she couldn't talk for crying.

The counselor later shared with her, "I believe we can see why you are unhappy in your marriage and feel like you can never please God our Father. Your core problem just may not be with God or your husband. It sounds like it goes back to your relationship with your dad. It may be that your dad did not give you the love and acceptance that you needed as a daughter. Many think that we receive our first ideas of what God is like through our fathers. Daughters often project ideas upon men, and especially their husbands, from what they experienced with their dad as far as love and affirmation."

She had listened intently until she asked the counselor, "But, what can I do about it now? My dad has been dead for several years. I can't go back and change the past." The counselor softly answered, "No, you can't, but God can do something about it. You can ask Him to heal the memories of your past. He's able to do that." 

The counselor read to her from the Bible, Isaiah 61:1, that God heals the broken-hearted. Then, the pastoral counselor read to her from Romans 5: 5-8, explaining how the Holy Spirit can fill our hearts with the love of God. That day, he helped her to find the healing love of God the Father.